Debra N.

As “hindsight is 20/20”, Debra believes she first experienced symptoms of MS in college when she had some changes in her vision. When Debra shared her symptoms with her doctor, the doctor told her she needed to take Prozac for depression which frustrated Debra: “I'm depressed because I'm tired of feeling like crap all the time. Something’s wrong.” She pledged to wait a year to see if her symptoms went away, but a few days before the one-year mark, she had a “really bad spell.” Debra decided that if she had “definitive answers, it would be better” and returned to see a neurologist, who quickly diagnosed her with relapse-remitting MS.  

When Debra was diagnosed with MS, there was no medication available. She decided to participate in a clinical trial that lasted 10 years. After the trial ended, Debra continued on the medication from the trial. Though she had insurance through her employer, Debra felt “incredible guilty because it’s one of those high tier drugs”; she is someone who is “always looking for a way to ease the cost of everything.”   

Debra’s symptoms are “oh, the usual, the regular-- can't walk, can't see, all of that kind of stuff.”  When her symptoms are worse she tells her family, “I'm just having a spell, and it'll go away.” Sometimes Debra gets her “rubber legs” and she has trouble with walking and balance; she likes to “walk on the wall” to stabilize herself. She is less comfortable going out to stores and will get a cart while at the store to help with her balance: “it’s like having a walker.” She has a new “neuro pain” in her face that has been annoying to her recently. Debra manages her symptoms by being in places that she’s used to: “With MS, I love routine because... I kind of know what I have to go through, how far I have to go with this.” For less predictable events like weddings, Debra feels “there’s no way I can make it” because she’s worried she won’t be able to get to a bathroom quickly enough.  

Debra has been married for 30 years, and she and her husband have two children who are “the focus of our lives.” She prefers to “be by myself all the time” and likes to be at home after working 10 hours a day at a manufacturing place. Debra thinks about her MS as something that requires her to “be realistic. There are some things I cannot do, things I would like to do, yes. But I can't do them.” Though Debra thinks she could figure out a way to do some of the exploring new places she’d like to do, she doesn’t think for her the “stress and pressure” would be worth it. A Catholic with strong faith, Debra tells her neurologists, “either [you] can fix it or [you] can’t… It's like, I've given this one up to God. He can decide. I am-- I'll try. I'll do my best.”