Recovery

I remember waking up, and I remember waking up, coming out of anesthesia, and the pain was crazy, like it was really intense. And I asked for something right away. I said, "I am really hurting." And they gave me some sort of pain medication and I felt like I was flying with Aladdin on a magic carpet. [laughter] It was a really strange, odd feeling. And I remember telling them, "Okay, I don't feel any more pain, but I don't like the way this ride is going," it was- it was a little comical…But waking up and having that carbon dioxide moving in your body is without a doubt the worst. It feels like you have bubble wrap on the inside of you…And I woke up and I was like, "Oh, my gosh, it's not my belly that hurts. What is this stuff in my shoulder and my back?", you know, and it was that gas moving around because it has to literally find its way out. And so my husband contacted someone to come to the hospital and give me a massage, which was perfect. And , you know, I highly recommend that…The recovery right after surgery, in my opinion, I was a healthy person going into surgery, so it really wasn't as bad as it could have been. The incision is sore, your belly blows up, it's pretty swollen for a while, but moving, walking-- I got up and walked the first day and then I just kept walking.

For me, the recovery, it was a little harder. I was in a lot of pain. I did have a really hard time with uhm with that while I was in the hospital. They gave me , you know, like, the max of what they're allowed to give me and it just wasn't helping much. At most, it just kind of like made me go to sleep, which is fine because then I could sleep through it. But anytime I was awake, it hurt and it hurt to move. Anytime I had to engage my core for anything at all, it was really painful…I couldn't use the bathroom. [laughter] And they told me, "You're going to have to have a bowel movement before they let you leave." And then I wound up-they wound up sending me home without having one because I couldn't do it. They tried a lot to get- to get that to happen and didn't work. And I think that that might have made my pain even worse because I was just getting backed up and had all this, you know, pressure in my abdomen. And my abdomen already hurt. So having that kind of made it worse…And the pain just kind of gradually got better on its own. I was- I was in the hospital for about four days…by the fourth day, the pain was already starting to subside on its own quite a bit. I, you know, it still hurt but it wasn't unbearable. So uhm, after I went home, it continued to get better but it took a while.

Well, they released me from the recovery room before him. And they had told us before-- they warned us that my surgery might be more intense and more painful…than his. So we were sort of expecting it to be that way and mine was nothing. It- it was- It was manageable. It was laparosopic, laparoscopic…We were actually really happy to go home. [laughter] There was- It wasn't a difficult transition in- transition at all because, I mean, since we were there for a month, are, we were healing. We weren't in pain or anything like that. I didn't have to take any medicines or anything after that. So I was able to take care of my husband. I mean, it was fine.

Because I did pretty much the textbook of the issues that right side kidney donors can-can have…The first thing that for that right side being open and everything like that and being that retro peritoneal space and that pain it's-it’s just a-it’s a really difficult pain to control. And so to- and every patient is different... And so for me I'm real sensitive to narcotics. They just make me sick. IV, oral, it doesn't matter. They- they just- they don't agree with me…My recollection is that it was about 24 hours before we really got pain under control and figured it out. And because of my response to narcotics being one of nausea and- and then dry heaving for crying out loud because you have nothing in your stomach that as you know, that just made that incision area scream beyond belief. So once we got it figured out and got the pain under control then that was our- that was the first recovery obstacle that we- that we had to get over…Well, I wasn't home but a day or two and the-the discomfort was getting what I thought was worse… I just kept kind of downplaying it until finally it-my ability to overcome, ignore, or deny pain was overtaken and I finally told my daughter a couple of days after getting home I said, “Man… Take me to the ER. I can't get comfortable. I'm really hurting…" finally the ER doc she came back in and she said," Sweetie, you're not a baby. You have a hematoma the size of two of my fists in your retro peritoneal space. And she said that is absolutely excruciatingly painful… transplant where I originally had the surgery wanted me back. Of course, they were like, "Get her back." And my little ER here in our little town, they were like, "Get her out of here." They wanted me out and transplant wanted me back…and I got flown out on the smallest helicopter I've ever seen in my life. I call it a toy helicopter made out of Legos… But that was an awesome experience as well. The ER, the helicopter, crew, everybody. They were just awesome and of course getting back to transplant, getting back to the hospital the same wonderful experience. I just got- I just got set back a week is all and. When you- when you see the end result of that that's really what it amounted to was a hiccup, for sure. And I definitely had to be textbook, which is not normally my-my MO. I'm usually I'm the exception, not the rule but once we got over that hump, I spent a few more days there and came home and then I was well on my way to recovery after that, which does take some time. It takes time anyway for the right side. It just takes a little more time anyway.

Before I was a little lazy but I was a stay-at-home mom so I cleaned house, I did laundry, I would take, you know, go out for a walk with my daughter. After surgery, it took me a little while to get back on my feet…It was a little bit longer because after the surgery I-I didn't know I had the gall bladder issues but I was still feeling sick and dizzy and I lost my appetite. I wasn't able to eat. I want to say it was 9 or 10 weeks that it finally took me to where I could get up and actually start doing a little bit more than I was…Standing up and walking it really hurt so I was like if I was relaxed or sitting down I was okay, but once I stood up it felt like everything was-- it felt like things were falling out so I had to keep that pillow attached to my stomach for a while and I started by walking. I did short walks and then kept trying to push myself to see how far I could go. And after that, I kind of started getting back into the stay-at-home mom stuff. I started doing laundry and cleaning and trying to cook again. So it took me a little bit but I finally got to the point where I can walk to the mailbox and back and, you know, do a little bit more than I was.

I was off of work for, I think, four weeks. It didn't take me too long to get back to work…I have to be honest with you, it uhm… I felt weak for a really, really long time. I didn't get back my-my energy level to where I had it before. And I didn't expect that, but I was healthy. I mean, there was nothing wrong, other than my energy levels. I sort of felt real run down…I would say for sure the first year. I know that sounds like a lot. I usually tended to have low blood pressure levels, anyway, so I don't know if that's the reason why, or what. I'm not sure. Maybe I went back to work too soon. I could have stayed longer, but I just didn't want to have to go on short-term disability.

My husband was key. I can't imagine going through something like this without someone that close to you. I mean, he was there from the beginning and you know, he helped process a lot of things that didn't make sense to me. He had to become an advocate for me at a certain point. You know, hospitals do the very best they can, but sometimes they are short-staffed and family members become advocates. And so there were a couple of times in the hospital that he had to become an advocate for me because you know, I had rung the bell or I had asked for something and they hadn't brought it, and he was fabulous in that process. And then he had to be my caretaker. When we went to the home for recipients and donors, he had to take care of me.

Yeah, my sister met me…I was kind of relying mostly on friends you know. My then boss's wife is another mother…My coworkers were fantastic, you know, and my friends and everyone else because I moved to [state] not knowing anyone when I decided to come out. And so, yeah, no, no, the support you know, is a huge part. And you know, if you're considering being a donor, that's the one thing is just make sure A, you've got people in your corner, you've got not just the medical support but the social, the mental, and everything else. You know, I, you know, great medical support…and my family even though I didn't have any locally but my-my coworkers, my friends, and everyone else really looked out, got me to medical appointments, brought me food, checked on me, what have you. So, yeah, it's an incredibly important part of the whole process is-is that support system…I think, yeah, medical and stuff is one part, but, you know, we need it, but having that social support is I think the most important part.

So I have cats, and I'm definitely a cat person. And I definitely had a dog too. So they know something's going on with you. But the dogs, they jump on you, you know, so like, he didn't really know I was in pain. But my cats knew, and they like- they laid by me and they comfort me. So I feel like pet therapy is definitely a thing, you know. And I-I was so grateful for them because they definitely bring my stress level-- even now…they're there for me, you know. And I'm like, "Oh my goodness, like- I just need to cuddle with you." And, the- you know, they're there to cuddle. So I sup- definitely, 100%, just maybe rent out a cat because cats are so goodly, and they'll give you like, the-the little stress relief that you need.

The military's really great. There was a lot of support through there. I meet with a dietician every three weeks as well as a physical trainer. And there for a while, I was doing a mobility coach to help me get to my full range of motion. There was no pain or anything like that, the dietician to make sure I'm eating healthy and monitoring my fat and muscle ratios and that kind of stuff. And then the physical coaches they're on- they’re with the military installation to make sure they're all workouts that I am comfortable doing and it wouldn't hurt me or if I'm comfortable with the surgery or anything like that.

I have a really strong, supportive church family. As a matter of fact, when we went in to do this transplant, because it was going to cost so much, you know, for our traveling, for my daughter not being able to work, I was not able to work, to all the doctor visits. We were both out of work. My husband was the only one working. So our church family actually did fundraisers. And they're the ones that made it possible for us to stay as long as we did, and stay comfortable like we did. So they did fundraisers. They paid for our-our, food, our hotel, the house that we stayed in. It wasn't a lot of money that they charged us for that, but it was a little bit. Everything was paid for. And my church completely supported us in that.

I'm telling you, with unemployment, it was pretty easy. Because at the hospital, I pretty much didn't have to do anything. The social worker from the hospital, she did everything for me. So pretty much, I was set-set up with them and that was it from my work. And obviously, I had to let them know ahead of time when surgery was and how everything was happening so they could have somebody and- taking my spot meanwhile I was gone. But I mean, it was pretty smooth. It was-I had no complications with that. It was just unemployment.

If more people donated, then less people would be on dialysis, and we won't have- we wouldn’t be out there, you know, advertising that everyone needs to be donating, and we would be able to take care of a lot of chronic health issues. And so I think if you look at it from that standpoint, we should be doing nice things for each other anyways, but then it does-it does translate into bigger things, you know, politically and nationally in terms of healthcare, which is a big topic anyways. So that would be my-- my encouragement is start looking, and if you find out that it's not for you, that's okay. But at least you might have encouraged someone else to start looking as well, and it might be for them.