Billy

Billy joined Marine Corps at age 18 and served in the Gulf War. He was told he would be in a D-Day type of battle, but they never ended having the big battle. He says they spent a lot of waiting and experiencing anxiety psyching themselves up to go into battle and preparing to die. He worked as an “ammo man” and was around mortars as they were being fired off. He was exposed to a lot of ammunitions and fallout from exploded missiles overhead. He expressed concern about the number of immunizations and pills given to them while serving in the Gulf.

Since returning home he has symptoms of PTSD, colic and stomach problems, irritable bowel syndrome, and tinnitus and hearing loss. He joined the SWAT team and law enforcement after leaving the Marine Corps. He expressed some regret with not finishing his 20 years in the Marine Corps and is planning to retire from law enforcement soon. Billy has had difficulty talking to others about his health concerns. “Even with my family, like for example mom, and dad. I would tell them, eight years after, I was like you know they made me take some pills. But to them, was like, ‘oh you were in the military, they knew what they were doing.’”

Billy faced several barriers to getting care for his symptoms and getting into the VA and receiving benefits. He described how the interview for PTSD was difficult, as he got the feeling that they did not believe him. He has not received care at the VA and gets medical care through his job’s health insurance. He doesn’t see much benefit of going through the VA for care and wishes for VA doctors to have “more knowledge on what, especially the Gulf War Veteran went through, has experienced, maybe be more considerate.” Although he has not been diagnosed with Gulf War Illness, he has been reading up on it and believes his health problems are probably connected to his service.

Billy feels like the Gulf War was not actually worth it and he was too young to fully understand the impacts of what they were doing to themselves and others. He believes there are many more Veterans out there who are suffering the impacts of going to war. Billy finds strength in his faith. “I put everything in God’s hands, he puts paths in my life, and he kind of pushes me to one way, and that’s what I do.” He finds support by connecting with other Veterans.