Ken
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Ken was deployed to the Gulf for about a year, as those in his Army unit were “first ones in, last ones out.” He experienced many scuds blowing up overhead and one on the ground nearby, shaking the ground. He wore protective equipment the first few times but stopped when told it wasn’t necessary. The burning oil in the area led to “like black rain” the whole time and scuds produced “strange green smoke.” Ken remembers being given many shots while in the Gulf, though none are documented in his medical records. He believes exposure to oil, smoke, and chemical weapons has affected his health over the years.
Around five years after returning from the Gulf, Ken started experiencing chronic headaches, fatigue, joint pain, and skin rashes. He required surgery to remove part of his intestine after a blockage. Ken also has PTSD and gets “blackouts” where the room shrinks and his vision blacks out. He has had two children since serving in the Gulf, both of whom have had health issues he believes are linked to his war-related exposures. Pain has affected his sexual life, work, and everyday activities, like walking the dog. Once an active soccer player, he had to stop because recovery took too long.
Ken has tried various medications and physical therapy to treat his pain, which he said help for a while, but the pain comes back. He was once taking 12-15 pills a day, but now takes three and finds massage therapy and CBD products sometimes helpful. Ken’s daughter and two grandchildren live with him. He said his special needs granddaughter “keeps me on my toes…keeps me going.”
Ken finds it frustrating not knowing what is going on with Gulf War Veterans: “It’s disheartening...that a lot of soldiers are going through stuff and there’s not a lot of answers…Why is everybody hurting?” He hopes that by sharing his story, he might help someone else or shed light on the mystery of what’s going on with returning soldiers.
Ken wishes there were answers that would explain why so many Veterans are suffering.
Ken wishes there were answers that would explain why so many Veterans are suffering.
I think what little I have read on it, I mean a lot of it I guess is still a mystery what’s going on with the soldiers coming back from over there. I just hope it helps some. It might be one thing that somebody says that can tie it all together, I guess. It’s just, I don’t know the words, disheartening maybe, that a lot of soldiers are going through stuff, and there’s not a lot of answers, so, just some answers I guess. The reason. Why is everybody hurting?
CBD has helped Ken with the relief that taking pills used to provide.
CBD has helped Ken with the relief that taking pills used to provide.
That scares me, being in that pain again. That really scared me. Now, so I took a year off from pills, and I told you that before. I was taking 16 pills a day, maybe 20, three times a day, five here. I mean just ridiculous. So 2018, I just, I quit. And I was doing the CBDs and, honestly, I was doing some THCs to try to get the pain stopped, and for that year, I felt pretty good because I wasn’t having to worry about the pills and all that stuff. The side effects, that I was having to take another pill to fix that side effect. It was just the wormhole or rabbit hole. So anyway, I just, I stopped. I was taking CBD tablets for the year, and honestly that year I felt a lot better. I mean the pain is still there. I don’t think it ever goes away. Just finding somehow to cover it up with something else
Despite adverse reactions to shots, Ken had no shots recorded in his medical record.
Despite adverse reactions to shots, Ken had no shots recorded in his medical record.
When we got back from Saudi, we had to, I remember filling out a form of our medical on our return. Because I think we filled one out going, but I don’t, I’m pretty sure we had to have, and with all the shots and stuff. They had us going out. One of the questions was, I did get diarrhea over there, and that was on my form, and there was something about a rash, and that was the one thing. I just can’t remember about the rash. And I can’t remember it in Saudi, but it had to be something because I wrote it on the forms coming back. And we got a lot of shots over there. A lot of shots, and I don’t have anything in my records with those shots. There was one time we got a shot, and they brought us in. It was like your typical flu vaccine type of thing. They had the needles already prepared, and you came through, and they took it off, and they wrote the number down, and they stuck you in the arm, and you went over and waited for 10 minutes, I think it was. So, while we were over there, after they gave me a shot, after about a minute, my arm felt like it was on fire. I’m asking other people, I’m like, do you feel, are you feeling anything? And there were some people that had the same reaction that I did to it, but then there were some that were like, no. We don’t feel nothing. So, yeah, it was just a weird thing. We had a lot of shots over there. A lot of shots. And again, in my medical records, my year over there isn't even in them, or when I requested them, it wasn’t in there that I got it.
Ken was able to get a physically demanding civilian job when he moved back home, where he experienced continued chronic knee and back pain.
Ken was able to get a physically demanding civilian job when he moved back home, where he experienced continued chronic knee and back pain.
Ken: So probably transitioning out of the Army from Hawaii was probably a good thing because it was more laid back. Transitioning into Hawaii was pretty bad. But moving here, I moved here after Hawaii because I promised my wife at the time that I would move here. We were divorced, and I still live here. But, transition, I think it was okay as far as I didn’t have a problem getting a job. I mean, still hurting there, but I mean you didn’t, you had work. So, if you're hurting, you can’t really say that you had back problems or knee joints or whatever because then you wouldn't get hired, so.
Interviewer: What kind of work were you doing?
Ken: When I got back, I was doing cleanup. A lot of physical work at lumber mills. So, yeah, a lot of physical work. And it went right alongside the body aches and pains from before, so I just kind of went right into the next one.
Ken can’t participate in hobbies or do everyday activities without experiencing pain afterwards.
Ken can’t participate in hobbies or do everyday activities without experiencing pain afterwards.
So the more active, then the more I would hurt later. I mean for now, I have to debate what I want to do, if I want to do it, depending on how the pain is going to be after. So I used to be active playing soccer, indoor soccer and outdoor and all that stuff, and I know that's gone now. But even when I was playing soccer, it would just take so long to recover. But, again, you turn that to old age or, but then you see, I’m only 54. You see 60-year-old guys out there running circles around me. And I still have it now, it's just an all-over body ache depending on what I do. What I did yesterday will depend on how I’m doing today because if I go home and I walk the dogs, which I’m trying to do more of, then when I get back, I’m done. Not for the day but for a good little while. I've got to relax and sit down and try to get that pain to go away, but it just doesn’t.
Ken feels “a lot of guilt” about his children’s health problems, which he links to his exposures in the Gulf War.
Ken feels “a lot of guilt” about his children’s health problems, which he links to his exposures in the Gulf War.
So one of the things, and I'll go into it more with my kids, is because I had a kid prior to any of all this, and with him, there was nothing. So then after Saudi, I had Derry, and then I went back again to Kuwait and then came back and had Grayson. And both Derry and Grayson, both had issues like their first two years. Derry’s was more colicky, breathing, couple times in the hospital for her. Grayson, we were having him tested like all the time because he didn’t cry. He didn’t feel pain. He would get, he got stung by a bee one time when Veronica was holding him, and he just held his breath. And then we noticed that there was a wasp in between her and him, which luckily didn’t get her because she's allergic, and at that point, we didn’t know on him. But for him, a lot of blood draws. A lot of mood swings. He didn’t talk at all. He grunted. He was learning sign language, and then like everything kind of fell into place, and he just kind of took off. But those first two years, I mean we had his hearing tested because we thought he was deaf. The pain thing. What else was there. A lot of blood draws because he would go from just a happy kid to just awful. I mean just drop right off. I mean just in an instant. Anyway, that was kind of with my kids. That was after, I just feel there was some stuff that probably was residual, I think, that could have happened to him.
Ken was unmarried and often felt like he didn’t “have anybody,” however he has found supporting his special needs granddaughter gives him a sense of purpose.
Ken was unmarried and often felt like he didn’t “have anybody,” however he has found supporting his special needs granddaughter gives him a sense of purpose.
I have two grandkids that live with me too. One is a special needs, and, yeah. She keeps me on my toes. She's high functioning, so she's like, what do you consider normal? She's teetering on it. She'll probably never be able to drive or stuff like that, but she's come a lot further than what she was at first. She was failure to thrive at first. Yeah, that was tough. She's 13 now. So, she wasn’t supposed to live past four with what her… but she's done well. She's done really well. Yeah. So that keeps me going. She's probably the one thing that keeps me right.