Angie

Angie is the wife of Jesse, who was a Marine during 89-93, including a deployment to the Persian Gulf. Angie and Jesse met in high school and have been married since 1989. Right away when Jesse came home, Angie noticed “he wasn’t the same.” Some of his initial symptoms included “diarrhea, he complained of memory loss, and he complained of his lower back being in severe pain” and he was also diagnosed with PTSD. Angie also noticed severe sensitivities, “if we went to the gas station, he would hallucinate for the entire day.” Jesse was ultimately referred to a Gulf War Study at Walter Reed and was diagnosed with Persian Gulf Illness as well as “chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, emphysema.”

Over the course of his care Angie recalled some challenges and highlights. Angie described a care advocate at the Bay Pines VA who was “the best” and took care to set up all his appointments in the same day, which was tremendously convenient given the number of appointments Jesse had. She also had a VA concierge that walked with them to every appointment and lab in a single day to help them find their way. On the other hand, Angie shared a difficulty in which her husband’s psychiatrist would not re-fill a medication because he was using marijuana. Angie described providers chalking Jesse’s osteoarthritis and musculoskeletal pain up to “getting older” a claim that she vehemently disagrees with because he was 24 at the time of the initial onset of those issues. She contrasted a positive experience with one psychiatrist, who would talk with her husband one-on-one for 15 minutes and then invite her into the room, which was beneficial for all parties involved, with a negative experience with another psychiatrist who did not think it was necessary for her to be in the room at all, and they never returned to that provider. She shared significant challenges with getting providers, from primary care to specialist, to communicate test results and do the necessary tests and get to the bottom of Jesse’s symptoms, particularly his pulmonary and GI symptoms.

Angie has served in many roles for her husband’s care over the years. She helps Jessie organize and advocate for his VA care. Angie has advocated to the point of calling the VA representative in the Whitehouse to get him a referral to the WRIISC, when they were not receiving adequate acknowledgment or necessary referral information from their local VA. She accompanies Jesse to “all of his appointments” to help him remember recommendations. She helps manage his medications.

In addition, Angie has been an ongoing source of encouragement and emotional support and has taken a significant role in running the family business and raiding their three kids. Angie and Jesse’s kids each have health issues, including mis-formed kneecaps, bowel and mental health issues, the latter of which she thinks could be linked to potential exposures on her husband’s Desert Storm uniforms, “our son ran around the house in his uniforms before I washed them.” While raising a family, being an active family caregiver to her husband, and helping run the family business, Angie is also the Director of a company. She has appreciated her company’s leadership being supportive of her familial responsibilities. She tries to “find balance” and finds regularly praying with her family helpful. Angie connects to other caregivers and Veterans via Facebook. She wants to tell other family caregivers that “You have to be patient, because sometimes it gets hard” and “And you just have to stay strong.”