Brad
Racial or Ethnic Identification: African American
Branch of Military: Army
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Brad served in the Army for 20 years, from 1975 to 1995. In 1991 he was deployed to Saudi Arabia and Iran to serve in the Gulf War. He remembers his time in the Army as incredibly stressful and filled with potential exposures and hazards: “It was mandatory for us to be taking these pills…we don’t know what they are.” He also recalls the oil fields burning, “20, 30 miles…you don’t see nothing but black dust over there…we was smelling all this stuff, you know.” In addition to the hazards, the sights he witnessed and the lack of leadership left their marks on him psychologically.
When Brad returned home, he began experiencing a pinching sensation throughout his body and his family described him as distant and irritable. His wife told him he “would snap on them the second, I don’t even know what it was.” He attributed many of his issues to the pills they had him take in the Army. He went to the VA and saw a Gulf War doctor who prescribed him nerve pills and lotion. He decided to see a psychiatrist when he realized he was not acting like himself, likely due to what he had witnessed. “Just thinking about that war...All the stress, I seen them dead bodies, the dead animal, the smoke, the chemical, the nasty smell.” His difficulty being around people made it challenging for him to hold down a job. After seeing several doctors, in 2010 he was officially diagnosed with PTSD.
Brad was being treated at the military hospital while deployed and wanted to continue his treatment in the states. He sought treatment at the VA immediately upon returning home. He was familiar with VA care because, “I have family members that was in Vietnam too.” When he initially put in for health benefits, he was denied: “From ’95 to 2010 I had to fight ‘em just to get my benefits.” At one point he was seeing doctors at both a military hospital and at the VA, which were giving him conflicting treatments. He has frustrations with his treatment by the VA, feeling that the treatment they provide did not help and that they did not take him seriously: “And like they tell you take this and that, this should help you, but it don’t help.” Although it took many years, he has seen some improvements to his health, which he attributes to walking more, family support, and taking care of his mental health.
Brad used to enjoy playing football and basketball, but now that he can no longer play due to health issues, he enjoys watching them. He has a wife and children, though at the time of his interview, was not living with them: “My nerves were bad and… I don’t know I just had to get away for a little bit.” He attends church service about once a month and feels connected to his church community. Although he is service connected to the VA for his PTSD, he continues to fight for benefits for other health issues like the continued pinching sensation and “shortness of breath and being tired for some reason.” He wishes that when soldiers come to the VA that they “pay attention to what he’s trying to tell them…you don’t know what it’s like unless you been there and feel the same thing that soldier feels.” His message to other Gulf War Veterans or others experiencing similar things is, “when they go see their doctor or psychiatry or whoever they seeing, they just be honest with them. And tell them what they actually feel, don’t hold back.”
Brad needs providers at the VA to consider how military service might have affected his health.
Brad needs providers at the VA to consider how military service might have affected his health.
I wish if the VA would be like when a soldier come in there and talk to ‘em especially a soldier been to war. That they’d be more trying to pay attention to what he’s trying to tell them. Because sometimes he try and tell them what you going through. But they’re trying to tell you, well I don’t see nothin’ wrong so I don’t see how that’s affecting you. But try to pay attention and listen to what they saying. Because you know, you don’t know what it’s like unless you been there and feel the same thing that soldier feel, you know? You can’t tell him he ain’t feelin’ this. You ain’t in his body, so you don’t know what, it’s like if I tell somebody like right now I got these pinched nerve, and I say, how you got pinched nerve? From what? For what? I don't know what I got but I know I got it. I know it’s there. And I know I’ve been go’n there ever since I came back in ’91 trying to find out what it is, never found out. But it’s still there. And I ain’t never felt like that you know when I first came around I ain’t feel like that pinched nerve. Ever since I went to Saudi Arabia, I don't know what it is, but I feel like that. And it’s a constant thing, ain’t like it go away. It’s there all the time. So you know you used to it, you know you just deal with it. I mean it ain’t nothin’, it ain’t hurting real bad or nothin’ right? But it’s a pinched nerve and it’s all over your body. You just deal with it. Because you put, I put lotion and Vaseline on it and stuff, and you know like if you got dry skin you feel your skin dry? That ain’t it. It’s somethin’, it’s somethin’ else. I think it was them chemicals to tell you the truth. That chemical and whatever that pill was. Because I put baby oil and all that stuff on it, it don’t do no good. But it still there. And even when she prescribed some kind of pill to take medication, I said it gonna do no good. It’s still there. And I don't know what it is. But I know I have it.