Craig

When Craig deployed to the Gulf War, he had been in the Army for almost three years. He was in an Aviation Unit as an aircraft mechanic, working mostly on TACT helicopters in bases on the front line. In his first night at the Gulf, his base was attacked with chemical weapons: “And that night when those first Scuds started coming in, we’d get a sign that said gas, gas, gas.” Chemical sensors on the bases signaled to put gas masks on, but “if they’re detecting something that means you’re probably breathing it [already]. He also remembers that the nerve agent pills the Army gave to the soldiers were poisonous to them: “we took those the nerve agent treatment pills, the bromide pills. And I saw a lot of people get sick. I even got sick, and I stopped taking them.”

When Craig returned home and left the Army, he couldn’t find a good job and had a difficult time readjusting to civilian life. Feeling alone and desolated, he turned to drinking. “I call that my dark period. Drinking numbed the pain and stress he was going through: “the world isn’t working right, well I’ll just pour a big glass of something or drink.” At this time, symptoms of PTSD also started to flare, with flashbacks and nightmares. “I can still remember that first nightmare… I woke up in the middle of the night screaming ‘gas, gas, gas.’ And I remember hitting my head off the top of the top bunk…I was so confused, I was so lost, I had no idea where I was at.” He also started having gastrointestinal problems, which led him to get his appendix and gallbladder removed. He recently also found out that he has large polyps in his stomach and believes it may be related to Gulf War Illness.

Craig eventually graduated from his college program and found a job doing what he wanted, being an aviation mechanic. Soon after he got married and had twin boys, both of whom were born prematurely with health complications: “they were sick, they were really sick. And four months in the ICU…my one son lost his eyesight, my other son he has learning disabilities.” He believes this is related to his exposure in the Gulf to “the chemical weapons, the NAT pills.” The toll of seeing his sons struggle with their health, paired with work stress and balancing family life, heightened his PTSD symptoms: “the stress and the dreams start coming back. And I don’t start drinking which is good because it’s such a stressful environment.”

Craig appreciates the benefits and therapy he’s received at the VA and found the connection and sense of belonging he lost when he left the military: “it’s this Veteran community that’s here… it’s a military community. Many of the people here are Veterans or even people working here. And I feel like I’ve made that wee connection to that military life that I left that I wanted to be part of. It’s kind of reconnected me.” Craig said he would connected with the VA much earlier if he had known about the help he could get. His advice to VA providers is to always listen to Veterans: “I feel like when I tell the story they just kind of doesn’t get through sometimes. What do I expect the VA to do about it?…I wish we could…get that recognition we deserve.” After coming to the VA and registering as a Gulf War Veteran, he initiated therapy, which helped with his PTSD: “being able to tell my story then [the therapist] put me through the CBT training where you do all the paperwork and the thoughts processes, which has helped.” Even his drinking subsided when he found help at the VA: “Ever since I went back over to the VA, I kind of put it away.”

Craig finds strength through his family, especially his wife: “My biggest thing is my family unit…we’re tight and we do things together. I told my therapist even going to the grocery store with my wife is very relaxing, very normal.” Through therapy, Craig has learned to be more open with his wife and let her in: “being able to be a little more open with her with things that bug me…has helped me out a lot.” For other Veterans going through a hard time, he advices to seek the VA, to go out there and seek information, “you gotta reach out. That’s all I can say, you gotta reach out.” He also advices to lean on other Veterans: “somebody you can sit and talk with.”