Martha

Martha served in the Army Reserves for seven years and describes her experience serving in Desert Storm as a “sacrifice.” During active service, as well as her time in the Reserves, she experienced military sexual trauma (MST). Her exposure to violent ideations left her frustrated, fearful, and feeling unprotected by the system. While Martha has been physically healthy since her time in the Army, she has struggled with deterioration of her mental health related to MST. 

Following her service, Martha spent several years struggling with alcohol and substance use. “When I was drinking, that was a covert way of trying to commit suicide I believe now.” She says that her time in the military has left her living a transient lifestyle since in her eyes, “with the military too, you don’t really have a home.” She is trying to retain services connected to her PTSD.

She initially went to the VA for treatment but was unable to continue attending group trauma therapy because she found the experience to be triggering and unsafe. These triggers in medical situations prevent her from seeking out necessary medical procedures such as mammograms and colonoscopies. Martha has had to seek out alternatives to the VA and paid for 25 years of therapy out-of-pocket. Through this care, she found effective methods for dealing with her trauma. She especially credits EMDR treatments that “helped me the most of coming to terms with everything I’ve been through and not having suicide as an option anymore.” Martha credits 12-step programs for saving her from her substance use and leading the way to additional healing.

Martha is working to move beyond her trauma responses from her time in the Army, both through the VA and alternative paths. She found a positive relationship with religion saying, “the Jesus thing is very cool now,” in reference to helping her recover from drugs and alcohol. She practices yoga and meditation, as well as other limited exercises to fuel her body and mind. Martha shows great resilience in working to overcome these trauma responses. She hopes that there is increased attention to the experiences women have in the military, and how to make them feel safer. She also wants to give the message that through EMDR people can, “go on and function without that [trauma] propelling them into suffering and pain.”