Mike

I can't say for sure what caused all my problems, but I do know for a fact that the anthrax shot is still affecting me to this day. I still get the rashes. I can also factually say that the M8 alarms did go off several times. Chemical agents, DU, and that little experimental PB pill could very well be responsible for my ill health experiences. I saw more death and destruction in just a few days than anyone can even come close to understanding. It was a killing field, and it was. It was one-sided, and we slaughtered them. I mean, I don't know any other way to put it. I can even recall using blown-up equipment to pull parts off of them to repair our equipment. A lot of their equipment was American made, and that is an absolute fact. It was American equipment we were blowing up, and light switches and certain things we were able to take off those vehicles and use them. If we had a problem, we would go to that vehicle that was blown up and pull those parts off. And then, again, no thought was given to DU contamination at the time. I mean, we had our hands all over it. We weren't in MOPP gear. We weren't, you know, we didn't wear protective gloves or anything. We used our hands and our wrenches, and we did what we had to do and moved on. But there was definitely, I don't know, but I would assume at least 70% damage from DU weapons. I mean from M1 main gun rounds, or the A-10, or the Bradley, or, you know, I could go on and on and on how much DU we used on that battlefield. 

I had missed several of the mandatory vaccines, so I received most them at one time, and the outcome wasn’t good. I had immediate stomach problems. Actually, I dropped to the ground when they gave me the anthrax vaccination, but that's another story. But I had stomach problems, unbelievable cramping, upper respiratory problems, congestion with out-of-control runny nose, then rashes started. And I put in parentheses around anthrax because years ago, when I was trying to figure out what these rashes were, I went onto the DoD website. I did not hack anything. I did not do anything like that, but I found what reactions look like to anthrax, and mine matched them immediately. 

Now that some of the pressure was lifted, I started helping other sick Gulf War Veterans. I became a board member of National Gulf War Resource Center and also a consumer reviewer for CMRP, which is Congressionally Directed Medical Research Program. They're very familiar with me, and I’m familiar with them for ill Gulf War Veterans. I was a part of testimony two times in D.C. against the VA, the treatment we were receiving, or lack of it, I should say.

I continued working in the civilian sector for as long as possible. I lasted another three years before I could no longer work on a normal basis. More than half the time, I could not function. Memory problems, body and joint pain, headaches, dizziness, confusion, major respiratory problems, stomach cramping, IBS, no sleep, and when I say no sleep, I mean no sleep. I mean, I did not sleep. If I fell asleep for 45 minutes, I’d pop up. An hour, I’d pop up. I could never sleep unless, at that time I was still drinking, unless I downed a bottle of Jim Beam and made myself pass out. That was about the only way I got sleep. One of the biggest things that I noticed about it, it wouldn't matter. Even if I got an hour of sleep, or an hour and a half of sleep, or eight hours, when I’d wake up, my sheets, my blanket, myself, my wife, I mean, I would soak the bed literally. I mean, that's how much sweat and whatever. My body was trying to get rid of the toxins or whatever. And, granted, at the time, drinking probably was partial, you know, some of it, but I still do it to this day, but not near to the extent of what it was. I mean, but I still wake up with some severe, I’d say maybe three to four times a month where I got a really good night's sleep, or just a couple hours, three or four hours, then I'll wake up, and I’m wet. So it hasn't gone away, but it has gotten better. 

I want to die on my feet. I don't want to die sitting on some couch. And that was that way when I was 20, and it's going to be that way if I’m lucky enough to make it to 70. I mean, I’m going to try and stay active. And there's a lot of things, and that's one of the things with PTSD. I don't find a whole lot of joy in anything anymore, but everything has been stripped from me, so it's kind of hard to do that. I can't really do physical manual labor. That doesn’t happen, because either I'll throw my back out, or my joints will hurt even worse, or, it just doesn’t work. If I do manual labor for any great amount of time, three or four hours, it will knock me down for two or three days. But if I go walk, and I go pick weeds, or I ride a riding lawnmower, I’m all good. It's when I exert myself is when it gets worse, and it definitely gets worse. It's not in my head. It's in my body.

My lead is three, my lead was three times higher than the normal population. Lead is a heavy metal. Arsenic, zinc were all elevated. So, as you see, I still have all the good paperwork. I started seeing, back in somewhere around 2003, a neuropathic doctor. I wasn’t going to just keep taking these pills and nothing happening. And she's the one who suggested I do all that. And when that came back, she said hey, you really need to start chelation therapy if you want to, you know, and I did. So I did. I paid for it out of pocket, and VA kind of laughed at me. Fine. That's fine. I’m still here. A lot of my friends aren’t, so I don't know if it's because of chelation therapy or not, but it definitely removed some of the heavy metals, I’m sure, if it does what it's supposed to do. But for them not to accept those results and then tell me that it's not a reputable lab, really? Where is the VA, how does the VA define who is reputable? I mean, they're still in business to this day, so, I don't know. Anyways, my lead came back three times higher than normal. Zinc and arsenic were also elevated. So was, I forgot to write it down. It was strontium. I’m not quite sure what that is, but that's very elevated, as a matter of fact. It's in the red. So whatever strontium is, I never did the research to worry about it. So after I started seeing her, and she saw that, we did the chelation therapy, and she suggested a few other things, and then that's what I did. I also, and this is really important, and I preach this to every Gulf War Vet that I come across who is having problems. I mean, I preach it. I’m at the pulpit that way. I remove as much as possible all types of industrial chemicals. Bleach. Anything scented except for essential oils. I've learned to use essential oils. They help me quite a bit through my diffuser. But I’m talking about toothpaste, perfumes, nail polish, dish soap, bar soap, laundry detergent, and common cleaning supplies. All that crap is out of my life. I mean, I don't use it. I will not use it. For one, it causes me a lot of problems, and you'll understand here when I finish. I’m almost finished up, but smells seem to really set my whatever it is. You guys call it panic, or the VA calls it panic attacks. I call it my body is reacting, and then, yeah, it might go into a panic attack, but it's because my blood pressure just goes up, I start feeling really weird, and I pop the clonazepam, and I come back down and calm back down.

Where I had the biggest problem were two medications. The brain fog and the just I couldn’t think, and it was like I was rebooting, was the drug they kept trying to put me on, or drugs, and I wish I could remember the names, but mental health drugs they were giving me were not working. That was definitely causing me problems. And then, because I have high cholesterol and a few other issues, and they were trying this and that, but it made my joint pain so much worse at night, and my wife would tell you this. I would ball up in tears, it hurt so bad. And, I mean, I could stop taking that medicine, and it would back off. But, again, I can't really say that that's the VA's fault because I had problems before I ever went in the military with drugs. I just didn't know it, except for Demerol. So to this day, I’m very, very, I mean, if you look on my, and it's not right, but I seem to have reactions to about 60% of the medications that I take.

Interviewer: The process of going through sleep therapy, and now you're able to sleep a little bit better and keep the CPAP on. Have you noticed if that's affected your kind of daily functioning, how you're feeling when you're sleeping better?

Mike: Absolutely. It's definitely made me, I mean, I definitely function better, and I definitely, I have a lot better outlook, so to speak, because I've gotten rest. I mean, it's wonderful. I mean, I would pull the machine in and show you if I could, but I was so shocked. I mean, I wanted to have a party. I got eight hours of solid sleep. And two years ago, if me and you would have talked, uh-huh. Eight hours was like a dream. That was long gone. That's never going to happen again. And now, I’m averaging anywhere from four to five hours a night, and to me, that's wonderful. And if I’m not feeling good and/or something, or I’m feeling really good, I might get another eight-hour night's sleep. I mean, it goes back and forth. But for me to sleep eight hours is like just unheard of. I mean, I don't know what to say. And it does. It gives me that boost. And my wife understands this. Me and my wife talked about it the other day is, by the time the end of the day comes around, I’m done. I don't have any juice left, and it's usually by about 3 o'clock. I’m just dragging, and I’m ready to go to bed, but I know I can't go to bed because [laughs], and that creates a lot of personal problems, because when you're done, you're done, and you don't want to do a lot. And it's not because I’m being lazy or, it's because I’m in that state where I have no energy. And that's one of the biggest things is the fatigue. And I don't talk about that much, but it's terrible. I mean, the fatigue, whatever it is, it's terrible, and when it hits, it hits. And, yeah. I mean, but it was much worse when I wasn’t getting sleep. Now that I've started to get sleep, yes, I feel better. Yes, I function better, and there's no doubt. My therapist would tell you that, because when I first started seeing him, I couldn’t even finish a sentence without forgetting what I was talking about. So, as you can see, it happens to me now, but nowhere near as bad as it used to be.

Yeah, I get headaches all the time. I mean that's almost a daily thing. I mean, headaches, and I get used to them. Sometimes, and my wife would tell you that too. Sometimes, and that's what she'll say. Oh, it must be a bad one. Very rarely will I take anything besides this and a few other medications, but once in a while, I'll take acetaminophen or whatever. Tylenol. I'll take two of them, and she's going oh wow. You just took two Tylenol. It must really hurt. And that's the truth.

I would close the doors of the VA. I would issue every Veteran who comes out, whether he's a combat Vet or whether he's just a plain Vet, they would have their C&P evaluation before they left the military, they'd be evaluated, they'd be granted whatever they're going to be granted, and they're given a healthcare card. Boom. Done. And close the VA down. If I was the president or had the ability, I wouldn't even hesitate. It would happen. It would happen that quick too. I mean, too many of us have the same stories, and we get put off as we're the ones that are crybabies. And a lot of times we are. I admit that. But when you're getting the same ol' same ol', you know, squeaky wheel gets the grease. And if not, you don't get anything.