Robert
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Robert was an Army Infantry and Intel Specialist that helped build bunkers and move classified equipment during the Gulf War. He was stationed in Germany when he was called up to deploy to the Gulf War. He describes SCUD missiles being fired and exploding overhead while they were building bunkers. He encountered extreme heat and sun, with temperatures near 130 degrees F during the day. He was exposed to burn pits and burning oil fields, which he described as, “You couldn’t see the sun at all.” Robert was given protective gear to wear but said it did not work very well.
Robert first noticed something was wrong when he started having memory issues soon after he returned home. He describes forgetting things at work, things he would normally not forget. Then other symptoms appeared including chronic migraines, short-term memory lapses, and frequent falls. He describes his migraines as rewiring his brain making it difficult for him to leave the house. He has also had three heat injuries since coming home, likely from the heat exhaustion he experienced while deployed. Robert has had several falls that have limited his ability to walk around. He now uses a walker or cane wherever he goes.
He has tried numerous treatments to get relief from chronic migraines, including acupuncture and message therapy. He has enrolled in numerous VA studies and has tried many different medications to help his migraines. He attends physical therapy and other classes at the VA to get relief from his symptoms. Robert has not received diagnosis for Gulf War Illness; however, he believes his health problems are connected to his time deployed in Gulf War. His wife is a nurse and believes he needs to be assessed for Gulf War Illness.
Robert has great empathy for those who served. For Veterans, Robert says, “There’s too many of us that are committing suicide. That’s not the answer. You’re worth it. We need you. Your experiences can be passed on.” His message for healthcare providers is simple, “You need to listen to them. You need to pay attention to what they’re telling you.” Robert finds peace through his religion and support from his wife and family.
Unbearable heat and burning sewage made Robert’s deployment terrible.
Unbearable heat and burning sewage made Robert’s deployment terrible.
And so during the daytime, it’d be so hot that we couldn’t go out in the sun. Sometimes it was up over 130 and me and the sun we don’t agree so I was drinking a lot of water. I was drinking probably a case of water. And these cases of water were about—I guess they were about 50 or 52 ounce bottles each and there is 12 in a case. It was just—that’s the only way I could survive. But I did what I had to do. Showers—we made showers from an emersion heater and then a shower bag. The latrines—they—I would call them primitive. They—what they did is they cut a drum, 55 gallon drum in about half and they’d slide it and they made this wood frame and they put like wire mesh on the front so you could see out and then they have fly bait there for all the flies. And that’s what you had for a latrine. And with the feces and with the urine you couldn’t dig a hole you had to burn it. And when it come to burning, you’d use mogas and you’d use diesel. Mogas to get it started, diesel to burn it because diesel burns hot. I was an NCO at the time and so I got detailed to take a couple people, take the stuff out, go and get it burned. You had to stir it so it’d burn good. I don’t know what the effects of that would be but it didn’t smell good. It wasn’t anything good. While I was over there I got maybe dysentery. Just all kinds of things that you can get over there.
The VA programs and medications for depression only go so far, according to Robert.
The VA programs and medications for depression only go so far, according to Robert.
And I just—my mind is just so scrambled right now. There’s so much I want to say and it’s just for having migraines and headaches for this long it has done something to me. I’ve been like re-wired because I can’t—a lot of times even when I talk to my wife, I can’t get what I’m trying to say to her across the way I want to. And sometimes she gets frustrated like that and that’s not a good way to be. And that’s why I’m trying to do everything that they ask me to do here at the VA; go to different classes and do these different opportunities, you know, physical therapy and all these different classes. How to Heal Yourself and things like this because if I don’t do it, I won’t know what will help. And that’s what’s most important. And a lot of times I don’t even feel like getting out of my house. But when I do get out of my house it’s usually to come up to the VA for appointments, or maybe I have to go shopping for some food and that’s it. I don’t get out very often. And that’s what the migraines have done to me. I’ve been put in depression. I’m on depression meds. I’m on sleep meds. There’s just so much and my body can only take so much.
Robert’s wife knows when he’s having an anxiety-filled day.
Robert’s wife knows when he’s having an anxiety-filled day.
I take medication to help me sleep and to help me be not so anxious with my anxiety and stuff. Yeah. It’s difficult sometimes when I get anxiety I can’t sit still and I rock up in my chair and I go back and forth and my wife says, you got it today, huh? And I says, yeah, I got it. She can read me pretty good.
Robert takes all the classes he can to feel better, emotionally.
Robert takes all the classes he can to feel better, emotionally.
And that’s why I’m trying to do everything that they ask me to do here at the VA; go to different classes and do these different opportunities, you know, physical therapy and all these different classes. How to Heal Yourself and things like this because if I don’t do it, I won’t know what will help. And that’s what’s most important. And a lot of times I don’t even feel like getting out of my house. But when I do get out of my house it’s usually to come up to the VA for appointments, or maybe I have to go shopping for some food and that’s it. I don’t get out very often. And that’s the migraines have done to me. I’ve been put in depression. I’m on depression meds. I’m on sleep meds. There’s just so much and my body can only take so much.
Robert has high hopes for physical therapy and chiropractic for his migraines.
Robert has high hopes for physical therapy and chiropractic for his migraines.
And I also have physical therapy coming up and then every week I go to a chiropractor and so I’m trying to do what I can in order to try and get some more mobility and, hopefully, get some reprieve from my migraines, headaches. Because if I don’t, I don’t know what’s going to happen. I’ll just be sitting in my house because they’re just—I mean right now they’re dictating my life.