Calvin
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Calvin joined the Army to support his wife and newborn daughter and to help pay for college. He served as a medic in an infantry unit in the Gulf War, helping treat service members for conditions like broken legs and scorpion bites. He said the living conditions in the Gulf were “deplorable” with “millions of flies” and “burning feces.” Near the end of the war, he ran over a landmine in a Humvee. His hearing was affected by the blast, and the experience left him with nightmares and PTSD.
Calvin attended college upon returning to the States and began a career before he started experiencing debilitating back pain and tendinitis in his knees. He started having neuropathy, nerve pain, and IBS, in addition to his hearing being “shot.” Calvin’s pain got gradually worse, eventually affecting his ability to walk and work. “I was forced to retire early…my body just fell apart on me. I mean I’m in constant pain like fibromyalgia.” He has difficulty sleeping due to financial stress and nightmares, and his pain leaves him feeling “in despair.”
Calvin saw a family medical provider over the years for his back and knee pain, and he started using VA care upon his early retirement. He is service connected for tinnitus but has been unable to obtain a diagnosis of fibromyalgia and has been denied disability numerous times, despite not being able to work. He’s had shots for his lower back pain, but that only helps for about a week. Calvin takes about eight medications, which he thinks is too many and causing IBS. Physical therapy for his back and shoulders have offered some relief, and he self-medicates “with a little bit of alcoholism.”
Fishing is Calvin’s passion, but he has not been able to fish or hunt in over a year due to pain. He’s unable to cut his grass because of physical exhaustion that follows. His “strong family” support system and his faith help Calvin get through things. He ponders what his life would have been like if he had never joined the military, but he urges other Veterans to not “give up…gotta keep trying…there could be a solution to someone’s problem if they just keep an open mind. Think positive. Have a little faith.” He thinks VA providers should listen more to patients to provide more personalized care.
Calvin discusses how post-9/11 Veterans seem to receive better treatment than pre-9/11 Veterans.
Calvin discusses how post-9/11 Veterans seem to receive better treatment than pre-9/11 Veterans.
Well, I do have a lot of health problems. I got like eight different medications I’m taking up there. Between cholesterol, high blood pressure and my biggest gripe about the way that they don’t take care of us the way they take care of post-9/11. I mean post-9/11 get way more benefits than the Gulf War. I mean we both served our time overseas, but they, if you post-9/11 it’s like you’re, they’re better than us. They get way more benefits than us in my experience. I mean it’s like post-9/11 the benefits are a lot better than we get. They a lot better. I mean they get anything. My nephew he just got out the military and they take care of them. I filed a claim for my pension as soon as I heard I couldn’t work anymore. They denied it and denied it, they deny my social security. They denied it. That’s when I was saying how people give up, I went through all that, did all that paperwork. But I know way more people that’s post-9/11 they get their disability easily. Like I say I filed for my disability three or four years ago, well it ain’t that, first time I did four years ago they denied it. I got a lawyer, they denied it. I went to the judge, they denied it. But I see all the, like my nephew he had just tendinitis in his knees or somethin’ they approved his like that. And they took, I mean you can, if I show you the paperwork I went in there to try to, why am I eligible for any benefits being prior service? You know what I mean? And I worked in the social security system for 34 years and they won’t give me any benefits. Nothin’. After serving. But some pills and a little healthcare, you know what I mean? It can get frustratin’.
Sanitation was poor and flies were prolific where Calvin was stationed.
Sanitation was poor and flies were prolific where Calvin was stationed.
As soon as I got out, I got back, I got out. You don’t wanna be stuck in the desert. Flies. Flies. You wanna, you could pull up dead in the middle of the desert within one minute them flies gonna be on you. Millions. Then they burning feces. We built us a, I don’t wanna say that, toilets. I mean you walk in there, millions of flies. In the screen. I mean millions of flies. The conditions were deplorable. You didn’t have no toilet. It was terrible. Maybe I’m a wimp, but I ain’t like it. I put it to you like that. I didn’t like it at all. But I lived through it.
Calvin’s strong family had helped him through some dark phases.
Calvin’s strong family had helped him through some dark phases.
’01, ’02 I started having problems with my back. And my hearing you know. That was automatic it rings every day. And I can’t really hear out of this one. I have to turn my head. Nothing but like I say, a little bit of alcoholism. Like you know, just try to self-medicate but that’s the next day you wake up you feel worse than you did the day before. Little bouts with alcohol. But I got a strong family, core family my wife and my big son he 25, fit’n to move out, but I got a 17-year-old and a good wife. And God is good. You just gotta keep your faith.
Calvin tried to push through the pain while working, but eventually had to stop when he couldn’t walk.
Calvin tried to push through the pain while working, but eventually had to stop when he couldn’t walk.
Interviewer: So sounds like as far as the medical problems you’ve had and how they’ve affected your life, would you say that that’s changed over time? Were they were not affecting your life as much before as they do now? Because you started out saying how things are now.
Calvin: Gradually over time. That’s, I couldn’t even go to work. I could, my back was gone, I couldn’t go back to work. And they wouldn’t give me another job. You had to come back in the same capacity that you left. So I just I got to the point I couldn’t walk. I was at work one day, excuse me, and I move real fast and Lord. It feel like somebody stabbed me in my back. And I had to sit there. And I’m at work now. I mean it happened the first time I was like well maybe, I twisted something wrong. But the second time, I almost had to call them and tell them to come and get my vehicle. I couldn’t walk. I got here I laid about two days I finally came around. And my back been killing me ever since. That’s not going anywhere. That’s a daily occurrence. When she was saying, how do you feel? I’m like, my back is killing me, but I gotta keep going. But that’s about it. That’s the life that Calvin Jackson is living.
Interviewer: So what would you say is the turning point? Was it, was that it?
Calvin: Yeah, I would say. Because you know you miss a paycheck when you can’t do nothing and used up all my savings. I mean if it wasn’t for the VA I’d be all right, but I’d be in a lot worse place than I am now trying to pay for healthcare and medications and stuff like that if it wasn’t for the VA. It could be a lot worse. I’ve reached the, 55 would have been my targeted retirement year. Next year would have been, but I couldn’t go anymore. Couldn’t go anymore. And I didn’t walk, when I couldn’t walk I just had to let it go.
For Calvin, fishing was his passion, but he hasn’t been in over a year.
For Calvin, fishing was his passion, but he hasn’t been in over a year.
Calvin: I keep myself occupied. And I used to fish a lot, but my back won’t let me do it like I used to. Because you gotta carry stuff. I’d love to go fishing, that was my release. But I ain’t been fishing in a year now. But that was my passion, hunting and fishing, but I just can’t do it like I used to. Now I'm wait’n on hunting season. I’m gonna be able to shoot a gun now. I’m go’n deer hunting. I’m go’n. My cousin help me a lot too, though. He younger. He can do all the heavy lifting. And it just got worse as I get older. Because I don’t play basketball. I don’t do anything physical. Obviously, I don’t cut my grass. But I can’t even cut grass. I can’t do that. I ain’t cut grass in 15 years. Luckily, I got boys. But I can’t, if I go out there and cut that grass, say if I just go cut the grass and weed it and everything. I won’t be any good for a week. I’ll limp around here for a week so sore.
Interviewer: And one thing is there’s like some things you say that you don’t do, like fishing and cutting grass anymore. Right? Are there any things you do now that you didn’t use to do?
Calvin: Uh-huh. I’m pretty much even keeled there. Nope. Do the same thing. I used to play basketball a lot. And flag football when I was young, but I ain’t did none of that in over 10 years. I ain’t played basketball in 10 years. Too much up and down. And the doctor told me the first time, he said you need to stop cutting your yard. You don’t need to do nothing physical.
Calvin doesn’t think his doctor listens to him and struggles to get the treatment he needs for pain.
Calvin doesn’t think his doctor listens to him and struggles to get the treatment he needs for pain.
Like you ever had an old injury, football injury, something you hurt and it come back and bother you sometimes. Like an arthritic. I’d say something, lemme see. If this, ain’t no reason for my feet to hurt, bottom of my feet to hurt. I mean just unexplainable stuff. Like I just have pains coming out of anywhere. For no reason, it ain’t even gotta be an old injury. And I don't know where it come from. I just ask, my doctor ain’t diagnosed me with fibromyalgia and I tell them I’m hurting every time she just give me more pills. I go to see her Tuesday. Every six months I go. I gave bloodwork yesterday. But I don't think she be listening to what I’m saying or ain’t trying to hear what I’m saying. She’s a fairly good doctor but some of the things I think, like I be telling her, I be about this fibromyalgia she won’t give me nothing but Naproxen for it. But I can’t take Hydrocodone or nothing like, I can’t. It gives me, it kind of makes me crazy. So she can’t give me nothing that will just relieve the pain. So it’s hard to sleep sometimes. I might get three hours of sleep.