Charles
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Charles joined the Army in 1988 and were among the first if their unit to deploy to Saudi Arabia and was there for seven and a half months. During his deployment, he described being exposed to burn pits, vaccinations, anthrax pills.
His early 20’s, not long after returning from the Gulf War, Charles first noticed a very painful pilonidal cyst at the base of his tail bone and “weird rashes” in his groin area. About a year later he began having “pain and frequency going to the bathroom, not being able to go to the bathroom,” something he still struggles with today. A few years later, he began having “a lot of back problems,” which he thought may have been related to his physical job in the metal industry. At the age of 30, Charles was diagnosed with high blood pressure and had a heart attack at 40; he subsequently had five stents placed over the next several years. “I don’t believe that’s normal for someone of my age and my stature, and it doesn’t run in my family.” He still struggles with chronic numbness is his foot and back spasms.
Charles has sought various types of treatment with VA and at private medical systems. For his foot numbness and back spasms including opioids (though these were discontinued by VA), muscle relaxers, shots, and physical therapy. None of these treatments proved to be very helpful or Charles. He also described “self-medicating” with alcohol at various times throughout his life.
Charles has been married for 29 years. He and his wife have two adult children. Charles values a good work ethic and would very much like to be able to work. At the time of the interview, he was filing for social security for the third time. He is focusing on “working toward getting healthier” so that his kids can “look up to me and I want to be around.” A message to the VA is “it’s not in people’s heads. It’s not normal for people to have different diseases and stuff when you’re so young.” He wants to express to other Veterans, “everything in moderation. I said drinking is overrated, all that other stuff is overrated. But everybody is going to live their own life.”
Charles sees red flags in his care reminiscent of the Vietnam era.
Charles sees red flags in his care reminiscent of the Vietnam era.
I get it, there’s no set diagnoses where you get to say—Oh, yeah, you have Gulf War. Even to this day, they won’t admit some people, whatever they died from, if it was Agent Orange, which it was, you know? I believe, for the most part. And that makes it hard, because like I said, I’ve never really met any doctors that are willing to say that’s—and I think that’s probably maybe the directive coming down that they’re not allowed to—you know. And I’ve read plenty of things on these sites that a lot of when you mention that, they like, tune you out. Or they don’t even want to at least say—It’s possible. Yeah. It’s possible. You know, a lot of them won’t even do that. Just say—Yeah, I feel you. You know, just on an honest, you know, person-to-person level. You know, nobody is recording it or it’s just me and you in here, and say—Yeah, I believe you probably—quite possibly your health issues could stem from your time over the Gulf or the shots that you received. Because when I tried to file my first disability thing, I said—they wanted all my military records. They’re supposed to have all that back somewhere in Indianapolis. So at first, they said they burned down, they didn’t have it. It all burned. There was no—so I went to see an advocate. And he was like—Burned? That shit was like, in the 60s. What do you mean? So anyway, when I finally—he helped me and I finally did get it. And the shot thing—it had my shot record and showed I had one shot. I said—Where’s all the—I had way more. I had at least 10. Ten to 15, I would imagine. Shots. Where’s all the rest, what I got? How come that’s not on there? So to me, that’s like a red flag to me. I’m like, I want to see that, what you shot me up with. Like I said, we don’t ask. You just stand in line and roll your sleeve up and—Get some shots and be on your way, you know?
Charles hopes that others will use the benefits they're entitled to in order to get help.
Charles hopes that others will use the benefits they're entitled to in order to get help.
Yeah, just to go. At least open it up. I know a few of my friends, they didn’t use it for a long time, because for the most part, I think the VA probably gets a bad rap and it probably depends from city to city, the institution and stuff. You’re a Veteran. I said, you might—you’re still going to get billed, I mean, unless you have some kind of rating like I do, but for me, I’ve always received pretty good care, overall. So you might as well just at least—I mean, that’s your right. You know, you served your country, so go look into the options and stuff. And sometimes, like I did, use your outside insurance—you know, the VA will bill them and vice versa, too. Then you can use them together and stuff. And it’s always—that’s the one thing that I liked when I was working. I could always get a second opinion. I could go to my outside doctor and say—Well, they’re saying this. But now I only have the VA to rely on, so it’s kind of—you know, but yeah, I definitely use it. A lot of people don’t. And I didn’t until the point came that I didn’t have a job and needed to start going to them. But for the most part, the [city name redacted] VA has been pretty good. I mean, surgery—everybody’s friendly, the doctor has always been very knowledgeable and very professional to me.
Charles recently started going to church, and found it to be a place where he could talk to others.
Charles recently started going to church, and found it to be a place where he could talk to others.
So, yeah. That was really good—and then I went to—I started going to—my neighbor is really religious and works for the church and started going to the church. I always believed in God and stuff, but just started going to church here and there, and talked to a couple pastors, just about what I was going through with that and then my issues, my health issues, and you know.
Charles took a long time to open up to his wife about his military experiences.
Charles took a long time to open up to his wife about his military experiences.
So I moved up here, got out of the Army at 21, got a job at the airport and had our daughter in like, ’94, and for the most part, I think it was normal. I was young. I was 22-23. Didn’t really have no health things, but I was always kind of—I don’t want to say angry, but my wife said—I don’t even know you anymore. I’m like—You can’t understand what I saw there, what I did there. And it’s something that I never—until this past year, told her a couple things that happened to me over there and stuff. You know? So she kind of got it.
Charles’ health has transitioned his role in the family to what he describes as a “house husband.”
Charles’ health has transitioned his role in the family to what he describes as a “house husband.”
Basically, I’m just at home. I get up with my wife early in the morning, take her to work, and then come home, wake my son up. Make him breakfast every morning and stuff, and just I’m basically a house husband, now. Do laundry and you know, dishes, and make the bed. Which I did some of that stuff anyway, I always was—I’m very like a neat person and stuff, so I always helped my wife. I don’t believe in—she works just as hard as I—I’m not one of those guys—Where’s dinner. You know? She did most of the cooking. I wasn’t—I barbequed and stuff, but she was mainly the cook. So now I cook. She still cooks a little bit, but I do most of the cooking. Which is fine. I clean all the stuff up. I don’t mind it. But it is kind of—as a man, you’re like—I’d rather be getting up, going to work. You know? Friday afternoon rolls around, you’re like—All right, it’s the weekend. Every day is like a Monday and a Friday to me. I don’t have no… so… but I earn my keep. My wife calls me her personal assistant.
Charles wishes he had the same provider continuity that people outside of the VA have.
Charles wishes he had the same provider continuity that people outside of the VA have.
The guy that I had before was great. He actually even wrote me a letter in 2016. I had that and then I had a letter from my chiropractor, which a lot of people don’t think they’re doctors. But this guy was great. He did a lot of good stuff for me. But I wish I had the report. You know, like regular outside people, you could probably see the same doctor for five or 10 years and really build the thing and he could like, be your advocate and stuff. Whereas the VA, they’re constantly switching. You know? They’re putting him over here, or I’m going there, or I’m moving to another city—I mean, I understand it. I understand how it works.