Jeff

So, I got out of the Army in ’92. I was only out a few months. And that’s when we were up here in the country and a family friend and my father got in an argument and ended up, he shot him. And probably because of my, I don’t know, PTSD, whatever, I was just shocked, didn’t know what to do. So, then in the end of that, police arrested him, put him on a polygraph, and asked him who shot Jeff’s dad, and he confessed to it then. There was zero physical evidence and he ended up getting acquitted at trial.  

Then, because I wouldn’t. The police wanted me to testify against him and my brother. I told them, “He did it. I am not testifying against my brother.” So, then I ended up being convicted of accessory after the fact to second degree murder because I refused to cooperate with police. And so, I ended up, like I already had PTSD from Desert Storm. Witnessing that and then going through the trial process, and again, no physical evidence, credibility contest, and the only real thing was that tape of him confessing. But the big thing was, “he just doesn’t act right, like how is someone supposed to react when they witness that.” And it was, yeah, I was just so far down mentally from the PTSD and then witnessing that afterwards, I just, I couldn’t even make the decisions to act right on how to cooperate with police and even in my own defense in trial. So, I ended up going to prison.  

I had the PTSD already from the Army. And then witnessing that, I didn’t act the way everyone thought I should or even me thinking back about the way I should have acted. I would like to think if I had a legal firearm, I would have had enough sense to pull it and hopefully prevent it from occurring or subduing him afterwards. And that would have changed the entire future. At the same time with my mental state, would I have still frozen and done nothing?  

The way I acted, it was always, “Oh, he’s, he’s a management problem. He’s a behavior problem. Here, write him a ticket.” Then I had, fortunately, a failed suicide attempt and was placed in mental health. It was basically a prison psychiatric hospitalization. Then I went into residential treatment. My psychiatrist quit and a new guy was hired and just happened he was leaving the VA to be a psychiatrist there. Ten minutes in his office, he’s like, “Man, you’ve been misdiagnosed. You don’t have bipolar. You have PTSD.” And so, through that, once, then being properly diagnosed, now I am on no psychiatric medication and the therapy has worked quite a bit. Well, Chance for Life has helped a lot. And so yeah, I’ve had extensive therapy. And I actually trained in a lot of stuff like drug counseling, like, to help other prisoners.  

Then the Chance for Life program, it’s not a mental health program, but it’s a lot of the same tools. Going through anger management, impulse control, communications, mediation, and I’ve taught all them to other prisoners. So, yeah, quite a bit of therapy and help. 

When I got, the first weapon I ever bought, it was after Desert Storm, when we got back to Fort Campbell, I bought a 14-gauge shotgun for waterfowl hunting. But it was, I said to me it was a tool. It was if I want to go camping, I need to buy a tent and a backpack. So, it was a means to an end. I knew how to use it safely, store it safely, hunt with it. So, it’s basically just a tool.

As far as crime goes, just locking them down. If I am the owner of the firearm, it should be locked. I have keys to my car. Everywhere I go, I lock the doors and keep the keys in my pocket. No one is going to take my truck unless they breach it and steal it. My firearm should be locked down like that.

If anybody is trying to get in here, I can keep them out until the sheriff shows up. So, there is a hesitancy. I don’t think it should, not, I don’t really want to condemn anyone else. But I don’t fully agree with that, you know, I need to have it strapped to my hip when I am sitting on the commode. I mean, I understand planning for the worst, but you’ve got to look objectively at reality to see what the threat actually is. And if I’m living in a community where objectively the threat is that bad, I’m moving. I’m not even... I’m leaving.

You know, I mean personally, I would have to. “Yes, I own one.” And would have to give him, you know, if I admitted own one, I would be participating in, choosing to participate in the conversation and I would have to answer further questions he wanted. Again, that goes back to the, “Why you asking me about my gun?” Even I, I can look at what the extremist views are on a lot of things and don’t agree with them. I’m pretty center of the road libertarian, but at the same time, I am still influenced by it, because the first, when you asked that question, the first thing that popped in my head, “Why you want to know about my guns?” But I mean. I said, it’s got really, really emotional and polarizing on the firearms, so. Me personally, I don’t think I would have a problem with it, but I can see where that would be a hot button issue for an avid gun owner being asked them questions. God, I don’t know if there is any way to fix is long term with just a VA program.

I think that would be more support groups I think more effective. Like cancer support groups and you know, victims, you know, victims of domestic violence support groups, because it’s--we’re the subject matter experts and we’ve been through it. And not to get down on the healthcare field or, it’s--if they become a doctor or a nurse to provide medical care and we’re asking them, putting all this extra stuff on them that they might not be trained for, like our, like law enforcement. And I think we do that a lot to our medical professionals. That wasn’t what they signed--they had this dream as a kid to be a doctor to save lives. And they spend 12, 16 years in college and start training. Then we say, “Oh, by the way, you need to keep this, talk this guy down like... I know how to fix his heart. I don’t know how to fix his head!” So, I think we dump a lot on our nurses and doctors, that it would be great if they could find a way to do it, but I don’t really think it’s their job. It might be because we’re just trying to figure out how to, nobody knows how to fix this. “Well, it’s your job, it’s your job.” Maybe someone will come up with the right answer. I think a lot of the emotional support is better served, in my personal opinion, in support groups and along them lines with people who have experienced the same thing.