Owning a firearm for protection
Veterans described a variety of reasons for continuing to keep a firearm outside of military service. Some connected firearm ownership with their military training. Others described feeling vulnerable and talked about keeping a firearm to protect themselves from crime and social unrest, acts of racism, or wanting a gun around “just in case.” For many Veterans, it was a combination of factors that led to their decision to own a firearm for protection.
Military influence
After his time serving in combat, Tom feels like he always needs to be ready to defend himself.
After his time serving in combat, Tom feels like he always needs to be ready to defend himself.
Once you’ve been to combat, you pretty much don’t feel safe without the ability to defend yourself even in a benign environment. It’s just an inbred thing that you have to deal with. If you’ve been in close combat and it just – yeah, it just becomes engrained in you. And it just – it’s almost second nature.
In the Special Forces, that’s just the nature of, kind of, what we do. And in the National Guard, I had my civilian experience as well. So, it wasn’t a reintegration really. I was always back in the, you know, civilian world partially, you know, five years after I did my active-duty tour, you know? So, yeah, it’s really all a part of the mindset. And it’s not something you consciously think about. It’s just, you’re so used to living a certain way like that. And I tone it down a lot. I don’t like my family to be worried if I see a situation that I don’t like. I don’t – you know, it doesn’t do any good to get things all worked up. I know I can – you know, I can handle any situation. So, that’s just kind of how things work now.
Tony recalls how his experience in combat changed him and made him fearful when he returned home.
Tony recalls how his experience in combat changed him and made him fearful when he returned home.
When I came back from Iraq the first time, things never got better. You know? Things never got better. When I came back from Iraq, I was riding around with my shotgun on my seat. You know? I was afraid. There in Iraq I knew who my enemy was. I knew they were out there. I was expecting it, or I knew it could come. When I got back here, living in the hood and living in the urban city where there is crime everywhere, I didn’t know what to expect. I was afraid. I was ready to hurt somebody if I had to, and it wouldn’t have mattered if I would have went to prison or jail. Even though if I would have went, I probably would have been crying like a baby because I didn’t want to go. At that time when I got back, you know, things in my life were different. When you go to combat, you change. You know?
After being “conditioned to being armed,” it took Jack some time to adjust to civilian life.
After being “conditioned to being armed,” it took Jack some time to adjust to civilian life.
I know to this day I prefer, if I go in a restaurant or any other place, at a gathering, sit down, I prefer to sit with my back to the wall where I can see the door. I feel much more comfortable being able to see anything that might be coming at me. Whereas if I’m sitting with my back to the door, anything can happen before I even know it, not that anything’s going to happen. I’m not paranoid or anything like that. And I can sit in any seat, anywhere in the room and be comfortable, but I just prefer. That’s the one thing. The other thing is just to try to – even though I knew where I live. Where I came back to, in rural south-central Kentucky, nobody was going to harm me. We didn’t have a crime. We just didn’t have crime. I’m not saying nobody never got – never, ever shot anybody or stabbed anybody ever. But it was – it would be an argument. It wasn’t like an unprovoked attack or something. Two men I know got into a fight one time over one man was fooling with the other guy’s wife, and he shot him. Unless you’re asking for trouble, you wouldn’t find any trouble where I live. And I knew that. Intellectually I knew that in my mind. But in my emotional – I’m not a psychologist or anything. I don’t have the training you do. But you know you can know something in your mind to be a fact. But you can still have a different feeling about it in your emotions. Does that make sense? Even though you know intellectually, I’m here in south-central Kentucky. Nobody is going to try to rob me. Nobody is going to break into my home. Nobody is going to hurt me, unless I provoke someone. Then I am totally safe. I don’t need a weapon. But yet, it took me a while. Back then they didn’t have Concealed Carry law. So, you couldn’t just go around with a gun on you everywhere. You could go hunting and everything. But you couldn’t just go around carrying a pistol and stuff. So that was not an option.
It took me probably a few months to get to where I never ever thought about, you know, I’m unarmed. And when you’re the age that I was, 20 and 21 years old when I was in Vietnam. That time in Vietnam being armed was 421 days. That’s a big chunk of time when you were that young. So, my mind has been conditioned to being armed. And so, I don’t know if you call it an act or will, but I finally convinced myself this is stupid. I don’t need it. Other than that, but now I will say this. If they had had the Concealed Carry Law back then, open carry like many states have or at least some states, I don’t know how many. But most all have Concealed Carry at least. If I had had that, I would have felt very comfortable.
His time in the military has made Evan more aware of his surroundings.
His time in the military has made Evan more aware of his surroundings.
The only transition problem that I have, it just deals with my PTSD and with me being over there in the combat environment in Iraq. I don’t know, I just…the hardest thing for me is when I go out to a public place, I’ve got to know…like when I go out to eat to a restaurant. As I’m walking through the restaurant, I’m always aware of who’s in there, who’s doing what. I’m always aware of where all the exits are; entrances and exits. It’s just something I never looked at before the military, but after the military, I look at stuff like that now. And even though it’s been 18 years since I was in the Marine Corps, I still look at all that stuff to this day. I’m just more aware of my surroundings than what I used to be.
Jason reflects that the “ready to go 100% of the time” mindset that is ingrained in the military is hard to disconnect.
Jason reflects that the “ready to go 100% of the time” mindset that is ingrained in the military is hard to disconnect.
Well, I mean, it's because I experienced that myself to a degree, and that's just, kind of, the culture that you’re raised in, in the military, is that you gotta be ready to go 100% of the time. You can't let your guard down, ever. And that's just part of the way you're trained. And that is the right training for somebody that is actively at war, or in a conflict. But that may not be the 100% right training for when they get out and they're at home. Just because of the 24/7 military life that you're in, that's just the mindset. And it's hard to adapt that to living at home when you're not in a military setting.
Feeling vulnerable: experiences of racism
The experience of racism can lead to feelings of vulnerability. In some cases, experiences in which an individual believes his or her safety is at risk can lead them to purchase and carry a firearm for protection. For one Veteran, several instances of overt racism, both during his time in the military and as a civilian, led him to the decision to own a firearm.
Experiences with racism in his community led Nick to feel the need to protect himself.
Experiences with racism in his community led Nick to feel the need to protect himself.
Three or four years ago I bought my first gun. It’s a Glock. And I bought that because it was like during that time, it was a lot of like – they kept showing like police shootings all the time, of a brown man getting killed or a black man being killed. So, you know, at that point, I’m like all right, I need to have – I need to protect myself at some point. You know what I mean? Because it seems like I’m a target. So, I just got it for protection then, you know, just to have in my house. And then the world within itself was getting crazy. There was a lot of stuff going on. So that’s when I bought my first gun. Then I kind of got on a routine with cleaning my guns. Didn’t stay consistent with it. So, then I’m like all right. To be honest, for a while, I was carrying my gun and did not have Concealed Carry license because I was – honestly, I was afraid. I was carrying it out of fear. I bought it from a store, but I still didn’t have the Concealed Carry license.
I was in a town that’s divided, to be honest, by race. So, all the black people live on one side. All the white people live on one side. Complete culture shock for me when I got there. I’m like, “This is crazy.” So, I had a couple experience where, you know, I had – you know, we weren’t allowed to go to certain places as a unit because I was the only black guy at the unit. And so, they didn’t allow us there because it was privately owned, right? And then I had incidents where, you know, like, people threw trash at me when I went running around the area, in the actual area. And so that made me even more paranoid, right? That made me even more like, “I need to protect myself,” because everybody had a gun. They all went hunting. They all had ranges in their back – like it was a real country type of life and energy. So, everybody owns a gun out there. It’s just different in the south. And so, I think that’s another thing that kinda made me like, “All right, I need to get a gun,” because I don’t ever wanna be, you know, kinda caught without it, to be honest. So, you know, those experiences kinda, you know, also shaped the way that I move now when it comes to firearms.
Feeling vulnerable: social unrest
Current social unrest has led some Veterans to feel that they need to be prepared for something that might happen. Eric reflected that he doesn’t “feel as secure in America as I did when I got out of the service. I’m a lot gladder that I’m a gun owner now than I was back in the ‘70s and stuff. I feel that our country is going to where you do need to have a gun, that you will need to protect yourself eventually.” Bill has been impacted by “seeing a lot more home invasions, right here in my very small town. We read about them in the paper every day.”
Mickie talks about the increase in crime in his community and his thoughts about owning a firearm for protection.
Mickie talks about the increase in crime in his community and his thoughts about owning a firearm for protection.
I was raised in Miami. A lot of violence, you know, a lot of people getting shot, beat up, cut. And I just know that my life is really, well, it’s half of one because I always seem to find trouble somehow. But I still believe everybody should be able to own a firearm. Not the assault weapon, but something in their house to protect their home. But then, again, I feel, also, it’s really not nothing in here to take somebody’s life for. I mean, like here, I’m in the country, there’s – we got a high crime rate here, too. We just had maybe two or three murders here just in the last week. And you know, it’s real dangerous. People out there are really dangerous these days. But I think it should be, you know, mainly for, if you’re going hunting or for protection for your home. But a lot of people carry them around looking for trouble.
Seeing things in his community that he “didn’t see in the war zone,” has had a big impact on Jake.
Seeing things in his community that he “didn’t see in the war zone,” has had a big impact on Jake.
I’ve seen things in the past that--recently where I live now, I think we were the number one murder capital for a couple of years. Maybe now. I’ve seen things that actually hold up to that statement in the communities that I frequent, that I go in and out of, even here. In my home here, I’ve seen things happen. I’ve seen things happen that I didn’t see in the war zone. This is due to firearms. I believe that it’s the law – everybody’s angry with everybody, especially when it comes to authority such as the police. That’s a different story about handguns. It’s so rampant now that I believe it’s because the law is so lax. Even in the youngsters, they take it for granted that they’re just young enough to commit the crime. They have enough time to do it and live through it and all those things.
Seth talks about needing to be vigilant in the city where he lives.
Seth talks about needing to be vigilant in the city where he lives.
As a medic for 15 years, as somebody who spent 17 years watching people shoot themselves across the city, seeing the current trend that we are in right now, and working where I work, where we’ve had shooters almost on a quarterly basis within a block; yeah, it’s a high risk. And I am not going to be the guy that I mean, hey, if it’s coming at me, I am going to respond. And if I’m, you know, close enough and able to prevent somebody else from getting shot or killed, I am going to do that, too. And I think that comes from just, kind of, who I am. You know, I go back to why I joined the service when I wanted to. I put Band-Aids on people with a rifle. It sounds like a weird idea, but it worked out pretty well.
For William A, it’s important to be armed in “today’s world.”
For William A, it’s important to be armed in “today’s world.”
Well, to protect myself and my loved ones from a dangerous situation. And I don't take it lightly. I have a deep respect for firearms, and I have deep respect for other people with firearms. And there's a lot of bad people out there, and especially in today's world. And somebody comes in and start shooting up someplace where my family and I are, I will be able to defend myself, and my family. It's very, it's critical to me to be armed, and I don't take it lightly.
Directly impacted by a violent act
Past experiences of victimization have led some Veterans to feel the need to be vigilant. In this section, Veterans describe the impact of being the victim of a robbery, having their home burglarized, feeling threatened or at risk of being harmed, or knowing someone who has been a victim of a crime. (See Interpersonal Violence for Veterans’ accounts of being injured during a violent act.)
After being the victim of a robbery and a drive-by shooting, Joe carries his firearm with him “at all times.”
After being the victim of a robbery and a drive-by shooting, Joe carries his firearm with him “at all times.”
Like I have, I want to say, it’s PTSD. I’m very aware and alert of everything that’s going on around me just because I don’t want to get caught in the same situation three times. Been in the situation twice, my reaction was grab the gun. I saved my life. The second time, it’s move out the way. Get these people out of the way. That’s my reaction. So, I know what my natural reaction is, to get away, get out of the situation by any means necessary.
Now, every time I come outside; I have [a gun] on my person. Before, it was I have it in my bag, have it in my glovebox, have it in my trunk of my car. No, I don’t move without it on me because I feel like I never know when I’m going to need it. It’s not for me to flaunt it. It’s for my protection purposes only. I don’t even really want you to know that I have it with me. So, it’s like, make sure I got my concealed permit and I have it on my person. I continue my regular day like nothing’s wrong, but I make sure that that’s with me at all times.
Having his home broken into led Jake to feel “kind of paranoid.”
Having his home broken into led Jake to feel “kind of paranoid.”
The military, in a sort of way, spoils you because it’s so… it’s safety. You have that safety net, and you don’t see these things in the military. I never heard about anything negative when I was in the military. When I got out, it just felt that I had to protect my family because things were happening where I live, more or less. There [was] a break-in in my home and things like that. Even now, it’s something that causes me to be more apt about things, to know that if it’s quiet and peaceful, someone is out there. Something’s out there outside of my home. But I’m still kind of paranoid about it. It makes you paranoid. Like I said, the break-ins, the way that things are happening, and I’ve seen things. It seems like I feel that I’m safer in my home with some type of protection. That’s how I felt about that.
Experiences in her past led to Jessica’s desire to carry a firearm for protection.
Experiences in her past led to Jessica’s desire to carry a firearm for protection.
I know the statistics that if you own a firearm in your home, you are more likely to injure someone you know or you love. But I cannot get over the fact that, if I have a firearm in my home, I feel safer. I just feel safer when I go to the movie theater and I know my husband is carrying with me, I feel safer. When I go on an airplane and my husband is carrying, I feel safer. I don’t know what that is, because I grew up in a home without firearms--well, I guess I do know what it is: I grew up in a home without firearms and I did not ever feel safe, and there were a number of things that happened to me that made me feel unsafe. And I don’t know that having a firearm in the home would have solved that as a child; if anything, it could have exacerbated it. But now, as an adult, when my husband is going on a work trip or when I’m alone in the house where it’s just me and my daughter and I know I’m the first line of defense if anything happens, I feel safer.
So, alone at a motel, someone approached my vehicle and tried to rob me, and I had a firearm right there. In retrospect, it was so irresponsible for me to travel without it in a case, but I knew that it wasn’t loaded, and I knew the ammunition was separate from it. So, I was able to use that firearm to then get them to back down even though I knew it wasn’t loaded. And so, that symbolism was very powerful for me. And at the time, I was 23, 24 years old when that happened. So, that has stuck with me that even the image of an unloaded gun is a symbol of protection.
Steven remembers how his best friend’s murder prompted him to get a firearm.
Steven remembers how his best friend’s murder prompted him to get a firearm.
What I didn’t realize was, you know, the weight of the responsibility of it. You know? Safety is one thing, but now that you’ve got this weapon. Where do--when do I carry it? When do I stow it? You know? What kind of gun should I buy? Where do I store it? You know? What I also wasn’t prepared for was the fact that I would probably want another gun. So, after I got my first gun, that one wasn’t quite the one I needed. It was a loaner. I was like, I don’t want someone else’s pistol. I don’t know who this belongs to. Then I went through all the legal routes, bought one, and it didn’t fit right. Then I bought another one. Oh, well what if I’m in my car and something happens? I’ve got PTSD, so I got a weapon that fits if I need to carry it in my car. Then I’ve got one for my home. I’ve got a shotgun for my home just thinking about all the scenarios. I go in that. I talk about this in that manner because of what happened to my friend and what’s happening in America. You know? I can say safely now my moral injury of PTSD and just the way things manifest in my brain, I was thinking of ways to protect myself and thinking of scenarios that could happen to me, and I would literally obsess about it.
Being ready “just in case”
Veterans talked about their desire to be prepared, even if the chances of something happening are remote. Bill’s stance is that “if something does happen, the best strategy is to have the upper hand.” Jason described it this way: “No one knows what the future is gonna hold, but I feel a little bit safer knowing that I can protect me and my family.”
Andy likens carrying a firearm to having “a fire extinguisher.”
Andy likens carrying a firearm to having “a fire extinguisher.”
You know, basically, you know, in this day and age there’s a lot of dangers. The thing I care for, I carry it for, is like a fire extinguisher. The fire extinguisher doesn’t really get used, but it’s there when you need it. And I think the same way about my firearm. I’m not a Quick Draw McGraw or Barney Fife. I take pride in my concealment of a handgun, so that nobody knows I carry. And that’s the way. It’s probably like the fire extinguisher. I know how to treat a firearm. I know how to respect it. And most of all, I know tactics to take care of myself or others.
Sam doesn’t feel that it’s likely that someone will break into his home, but says, “if it ever occurred, my stuff would be ready.”
Sam doesn’t feel that it’s likely that someone will break into his home, but says, “if it ever occurred, my stuff would be ready.”
For me, like I said, living in the country, I don’t feel that anyone is just going to break into my home and I would need to call on one for protection. But, I guess there’s really no real reason that I would have any of them loaded. I guess I’m just kind of the mindset of the old, “It’s better to have one and not need than to need it and not have it.” And if you have it and it’s not loaded and someone does happen to break in or you do have some major issue come up, if you’re trying to go and look for ammunition to put in, you’re as good as gone. Whatever’s going to happen, you failed your job of protecting your home if you’re looking for ammunition. I don’t think for any moment that anyone’s ever going to break into my home where I might need to do that, but if it ever occurred, my stuff would be ready.
Ken thinks it’s better to have a firearm, “just in case."
Ken thinks it’s better to have a firearm, “just in case."
I mean I got firearms in the house, you know, that’s in my – next to my nightstand, that I have there just in case, you know? Never know. Because I live out in the country. Not that it matters where you live at. It doesn’t matter if it’s a burglar, you know, if they’re going to rob you or not. But, you know, I just have one just in case. Never know.