Engaging in activities that involve firearms

I’ve realized that over the years. A lot of people, a lot of people need that recoil therapy. That’s the way we like to look at it. The smell of gunpowder hitting your nose, reminding you of the old days when you were 21 and bulletproof, and 10 foot tall. I take guys out to ranges down here in southern Oregon—guys that I know that were prior service. We go out and have range day.

I do have some Veteran friends that have PTSD, and the way we relate to each other is we go to Calibers and we shoot, and that's our… you know, we'll go for coffee because, obviously, I don't hang around people that are big drinkers or anything. But we might go for, grab a cup of coffee, or breakfast, and then we go shoot. And that's our, where other people might go to a movie together, that's how we relate. And that's, kind of--and it's not that we don't talk about things when we're together because we do, but that's the basis of us getting together.  

And today being sober as long as I've been, I do have to say, I am very blessed with the wonderful support system that many, many Veterans don't have. And I am very blessed to have the support system that I have. And it's nice to know that I can pick up the phone and go, "Hey, so-and-so, you want to get together Saturday, and hang, and…" And sometimes we have that competitive thing going, and sometimes we do it just to hang. So, it's nice to have that with certain friends.  

And then I'm around other people that totally don't understand firearms, they're like, "Well, you've been suicidal so you shouldn't even own 'em." Well, it's not their choice to make, so. I'm safe with mine and I have a plan if I ever become suicidal again. So those friends, I do other things with.

Yeah. I spent four years active duty in the Marine Corps during the Cold War, in the mid-80s, and then four years in the reserves. I’ve always been an active shooter even when I was in the Marine Corps. I owned personal firearms and some of the guys in my unit, we would go out to the high desert in southern California and go shooting. See who could get through an engine block of an old, abandoned car or whatever.  
 
I think I gained a little bit more interest in firearms and realized just how fun they were. Going to qualify at the range all day long was a pain in the butt. But you kind of miss it after a while. It’s kind of hard to explain. And I think that’s what drew me out to the first gun store while I was on active duty, and I think by the time I got off active duty I probably owned four or five handguns. And that just carried on. And I think that was probably part of what kind of formed me and my interest in life around firearms. 

I think for me, and I would say my wife as well, I think what we enjoy the most about firearms today is not necessarily so much the recreational or hunting aspect or the second amendment aspect or anything else like that, I think those are all smaller factors in various sizes. For me and my wife today, and it’s probably evidence of our age, I think the historic aspect of firearms and holding a piece of history in your hand like that, wishing it could tell a story and, you know, you have scenes of Saving Private Ryan or whatever war movie in your head as you're holding onto and M1, or something like that. 
 
For me the opportunity, when I come across a historic firearm opportunity, the chance to save that piece of history and pass that on to my kids is not only important to myself and my wife but also our four children. They all have an interest in that. They all know the history of these things. And it’s just incredibly satisfying to be able to take something like that out to the range and don’t relegate it to history, you know let it continue to live in our time

We even have a little bet that every time I buy a new guitar, he gets to buy a new gun. So, there’s an identity aspect in our relationship where guns are part of our story, and I don’t want that to not be the case; I love that that’s the case. I love shocking my civilian colleagues a little bit when they say, "What are you doing for your anniversary?", and I say, "Oh, we’re going to the gun range and then we’re going to go out for beers." I love that. I love getting a little rise out of that, whether they like it or not. So, I would say, it’s absolutely part of my identity.

My friends, and like I said, I don’t have a lot of friends, but the friends I do have, because that’s something that we enjoy – we can enjoy once in a while together, is to go shooting. And that’s part of our, you know us, being friends. I have friends that don’t have firearms, you know? We’re still friends. But the friends that we do have that in common – a common bond and go out shooting. We know we got each other’s back; you know if need be. But as far as like me identifying as a gun – I think people know – I’d rather people know me as this fun-loving guy that likes to do, you know, have some adventure. Not a guy that’s like, “Oh there’s a gunner. He owns guns.” I don’t identify with that.

Because I’m retired, I’m on a fixed income. A lot of our meat is from the hunting I do so, firearms are more of a tool for me than they are a recreational item. Some people look at them as recreational, and they are. There’s nothing wrong with recreational shooting. I think it’s wonderful that people are able to do that. But, for me, it’s more of a tool as it provides meat for my wife and I.

When I got, the first weapon I ever bought, it was after Desert Storm, when we got back to Fort Campbell, I bought a 14-gauge shotgun for waterfowl hunting. But it was, I said to me it was a tool. It was if I want to go camping, I need to buy a tent and a backpack. So, it was a means to an end. I knew how to use it safely, store it safely, hunt with it. So, it’s basically just a tool.

Like today, currently in my life, I go to Farming Commission, a dairy farm, dairy farmers, you know, dairy farms. And I help the dairy farmers with pest control. Because, you know, the dairy farmers – I don’t know how it is Oregon, but at least here, you know, in my state, there’s a lot of pest birds that are eating up a lot of the cattle’s food. And it upsets the farmers. So, I go to the farms, you know, and I tell them that I’m a vet, I’m a combat vet, and I’m using air guns to control the bird population that has inundated all these dairy farms. And the farmers you know they don’t like the common house sparrow, the starlings, and the pigeons, and the red-tip, red wing black birds that – and cow birds that come to the farms. And I mean there’s lots of birds all over the place. And the farmers get upset because the birds are eating up the grain. And of course, they can’t be worried about trying to, you know, shoo off all the birds. So, a guy like me comes there, you know, and uses air guns to take care of the birds, you know? And because the air gun has a silencer at the end of the barrel, it makes it quiet. And it doesn’t scare the cattle when I’m shooting outside the barns at all these pest birds. So, you know, guns in general, whether it’s an air gun, or a real firearm, play an important part in my life. I’m retired, and that’s a way to occupy my time, is to help the farmers out. So, the farmers, they’re very much appreciative of me coming out there and kind of take care of, you know, the pest birds for them. And I get some satisfaction out of it knowing that I get to shoot the firearm at the Farmer’s Commission and help the farmers out. And then, you know, there are times, you know, that I also take my real firearms out to a shooting range, you know, gun range. I get to enjoy shooting my handguns and my real firearms as well. 

I excelled at marksmanship and got one of the top five scores in my company of 140 people, and it was something that I didn’t even know I was good at until I joined the military. And so, once I got out of training and got to my unit, I naturally pursued more marksmanship opportunities or, if there was a chance to have more training, volunteer at the range to, whether it was loading magazines or whatever was involved in the range, I wanted to be out there as much time as I possibly could.  

And so, I went to Iraq and I was assigned an M249 which is like the submachine gun; and I had an M4, and I had an M9 pistol, and so I had those three firearms. And the submachine gun was just for mounting on the Humvees, and luckily, I never had a situation where I had to fire it in combat so that was great. I didn’t want to, like that wasn’t my job in the military; I was a civil affairs person, so my job was very much about winning the hearts and minds of the people, and it’s very difficult to do that if you’re shooting things at them.  So, my mission was just to make sure that were safe and that we had the implements that we needed to stay safe; but if I never fired around downrange, that was just fine with me. And so, luckily, that never happened. But when I got home from Iraq--and this was in 2008, April of 2008--the financial collapse had just happened--or was, I think, in the process of happening--and gas was $5 a gallon in California where I was from and my prospects--I mean I had PTSD from--I never had to fire a round downrange, but I did lose friends over there and I did see a suicide bomb go off and have to carry bodies out of rubble, and so I had a fair amount of PTSD. So, I really thought the only two things that I know how to do are maybe--I don’t even know if I know how to go back to college or study, or anything like that, but I know how to shoot and I know how to clean guns. 

And so, it turned out there was a firing range right near my house and I got a job there. And I think, to be honest--and they told me this later--they hired me as a joke because they thought, "This little girl, there’s no way she’s going to last," and they had me cleaning 42 firearms in two hours at the close of every shift.  And yeah, so, that was my job at first; I was not allowed to instruct anybody or anything like that. So, my job was to clean the range, and my job was to clean the firearms, and sell ammo and reloads to customers. So, I did that job from, I think, summer of 2008 to summer of 2009 while I was going to junior college as well, just to see, you know, dip a toe back in education. Do I know how to be a real person after everything that I saw over in Iraq?  

My father, in my earlier years, would take me hunting with him. Deer hunting with a high-caliber rifle. When I got back from Vietnam, I got tired of the killing, and I didn’t like killing animals in particular, and so I have not been hunting since. I liked the look and the feel and the smell of a weapon. This is before I went to Vietnam. But with my Vietnam experience, it pointed me in a different direction. I have a lot of experience. By that I mean I spent two years in Vietnam. I was a helicopter pilot, and I saw a lot of action, should I say? Some good, some bad. I can honestly say the high points in my life and the low point in my life all revolved around living. Living through an experience or losing a Veteran or another pilot, for example. 

I learned how to fire the .45 pistol while I was in the army. And when I got out and I chose not to do those things that hunters do, killing animals, primarily. I had a strong dislike of weapons that are used in war, and people pick them up…like just today, I think ten people were shot in the New York subway. Did you hear about that? That’s crazy. When will it end? 

Probably thinking that weapon will help save you from something bad that might happen. You know, you see these different reports like, you know, there’s too many weapons in this country. They got more weapons than they got people. There has to be some way to separate weapons from former soldiers or seamen or Air Force types. Get them out of their hands. I sold all my weapons. I had a shotgun and a deer hunting rifle and a .45-caliber pistol. I sold them all. Don’t want to be around them.  

I do own quite a few and maybe when I was a little bit younger, I used to enjoy going out in the woods and shooting things, targets and stuffs. I wasn’t never, really been too big into hunting. I’m a fisherman. That’s my hobby. I never really cared too much for killing animals. Now, if I had to survive, absolutely would, and I wouldn’t have any issue about it. But I don’t have to do that to survive so, I never really got into hunting. So, when I would go out and shoot any of the firearms I had, it was just mainly shooting at targets and kind of for fun. But in the last few years, I haven’t used them at all. They’re just in the home and they sit there and they just collect dust.