Messages for other Veterans
Veterans shared reflections from their own experiences as they offered messages of advice to others who have experienced a firearm injury and who may still be struggling with their physical or mental recovery. Some talked about the need to find acceptance in order to move on, like Eric who talked about the importance of “just accepting it as something that happened.” Others emphasized the need to both find and accept help from others. In addition to advice, Veterans shared their biggest takeaways after their own injuries, which often centered around continued vigilance or a renewed focus on firearm safety.
Finding acceptance and inner strength
Doug talks about not blaming yourself, reflecting on his own injury and how he “can’t change what happened.”
Doug talks about not blaming yourself, reflecting on his own injury and how he “can’t change what happened.”
Johnny emphasizes the importance of perseverance after an injury saying, “never give up. Never quit. Never accept defeat.”
Johnny emphasizes the importance of perseverance after an injury saying, “never give up. Never quit. Never accept defeat.”
It can always be worse. It can always be worse with an injury, especially when firearms are involved. If you keep working hard you can usually get back from it. And that’s the never give up. Never quit. Never surrender. Never accept defeat.
If you sit there, and wallow, and “Poor pitiful me”, you’re never going to get any better. But if you keep working hard, you’ll get most of that use back. That’s what I did, and that’s the attitude that I see a lot of guys that I served with that are amputees. It’s that, “I’m not going to give up. I’m not going to quit. I’m not going to surrender.” And they’re living mostly fruitful lives now, you know. But I think that goes for anything in life. If you sit there and, “Man, I’ve had a bad shake.” You’re just down about it all the time, it’s never going to get any better. But if you work hard and keep trying to build better, get yourself be better, you’ll get further.
To move forward, Eric says, “You just have to learn how to readjust.”
To move forward, Eric says, “You just have to learn how to readjust.”
Just accepting it as something that happened. You know, deal with whatever consequences you have. Like me, I have a lot of pain with that leg, and stuff like that. You know, I just--you just have to learn how to adapt and how to deal with it. I tell you, that’s about all I know. You just have to learn how to readjust. Adjust your life to whatever handicap that this gunshot presents itself with. It depends on where you got shot, you know, how bad you’re going to be messed up.
Seeking out and accepting help from others
Tom suggests talking to other Veterans who have had similar experiences and can relate.
Tom suggests talking to other Veterans who have had similar experiences and can relate.
That is the number one thing. And I know this has helped guys because I’ve talked to guys that were there and we’re able to talk to the guys in their unit, or their buddies, or the guys they went to combat with and can relate to that experience. You know, guys don’t want to talk to a counselor about something. They want to talk to somebody they know and somebody that they’ve – you know, maybe saved their life or, you know, they have that bond. And you know, that to me--and I have that in my group.
But being able to talk to other Veterans with the same experience, even if it wasn’t in your unit. If it was somebody that has the same type of experience, that really would be so much helpful. “Hey, we got a Marine here who was in infantry. Man, he’s having a hard time. Okay. We need to find a Marine that can relate.” Because I can’t relate to a Marine. I can talk basic stuff. But I wasn’t a Marine. And that’s a holy – totally different culture. Same thing in the Air Force or the Navy. You know, each service has their own culture and you can most relate. I mean, it’s basic stuff. You relate to what you know and what’s around you. So, you know that, I think, would, to me is the most helpful to be able to speak to other Veterans within your peerage group.
Anthony emphasizes the importance of letting others around you offer their support.
Anthony emphasizes the importance of letting others around you offer their support.
You're not tough enough to do it alone. You gotta have good people around you. You might not always like what they say, but it's not them being mean. Your mindset is everybody's against you and they're not. They're concerned about you because they love you.
For Mike, the most important message is “You’re not alone.”
For Mike, the most important message is “You’re not alone.”
I think the number one thing I would tell somebody is, "You're not alone." I know for me when I've gone through different things in my life, I felt like I was the only one. And for that person to know that they're not the only one and there is somebody there. I think the number one statement is, "You are not alone." Right off the bat. I think a lot of times, and in talking from my own life, a lot of what people need is just somebody to listen, and somebody to not judge. And platitudes don't work with people going through trauma. They don't need to hear those little one-liners. They don't work, they don't help. They're bullshit.
William B stresses the importance of advocating for yourself and finding the right care.
William B stresses the importance of advocating for yourself and finding the right care.
Another Veteran in a similar situation, I would tell, “I understand you’re not getting what you need. I’m here. If you need to talk to me, talk to me. I can tell you what I’ve been through, what I went through, what I’ve found that works for me. It might not work for you. I don’t know. But it works for me. It gives you an option. Try and seek civilian care. There’s your two options. Have you talked to your VA about your problems? Another option.” They could say, “Yes, I have and I’m not getting the help the same as you wasn’t.”
Okay. Well then, you need to seek other care. Or wait, before you even seek civilian care, maybe talk to your provider. It might be one of my friends from the service that lives in California not Ohio or Florida or whatever. Maybe try and talk to your provider. Explain to him what’s going on, and how you’re feeling. And maybe they will help you. Because there are, I guess, some good VA medical centers out there. I have a friend from when I was in that lives in Michigan. He gets phenomenal care through a VA system up there. So, but if you’re not getting care and your VA isn’t working with you, then you need to seek other care. Whether that be mental health, physical health, it don’t matter. But if your VA’s not going to do it, you have to – instead of doing like me and just shutting down and saying fuck it, take one more step of initiative and think of your own wellbeing and go to a different source.
Maintaining vigilance with firearm safety practices
Seth talks about treating a firearm “with the utmost respect.”
Seth talks about treating a firearm “with the utmost respect.”
Don’t get comfortable. Know that thing is gonna--you get too comfortable, it could be your ass, ha ha. But truly. As a guy who, you know, I’ve got a casualty down the field, I’m having to clear their weapon. I’m going to make sure my safety is on. I’m still in a combat zone. I’ve got a round in the, you know, racked. But I’m--you’ve got to get out of that, that mindset of being comfortable there. I mean comfortable in that it’s still, again, like a secondary appendage, yes. But that you treat that with the utmost respect, and you check what you’ve checked a thousand times, just to check it again. Like I said, when I get up every morning, I don’t have a significant other in my life and the cats don’t have opposable thumbs to charge that weapon. I still check it every morning.
Justice reflects that his “biggest takeaway is, always understand what you are doing with a firearm.”
Justice reflects that his “biggest takeaway is, always understand what you are doing with a firearm.”
Probably my biggest takeaway is always understand what you are doing with a firearm. Always double-check what you just did to the firearm if you’re unsure. And I know it sounds very silly, but when I had shot myself, my left hand was just passing in front of the barrel I thought as I was dry-clicking it. But it wasn’t a dry click. Keeping everything back away from the firearm. I know it’s one of the first things they tell you. But it caught up to me when I was alone in my house, you know? I was just cleaning my gun.
You just always need to be mindful of the firearm because anywhere it’s pointing, you just need to treat that as the no-go zone. And I had done that for years and I just didn’t do it that that one time. So, it’s always being mindful where it’s going, just always be observant of what you’re doing was the biggest thing for me afterwards, I think.
Robert talks about firearm safety and how important it is to “get a routine and stick to it.”
Robert talks about firearm safety and how important it is to “get a routine and stick to it.”
I have a neighbor that took me--back when I was unable to drive, you know, it was just shortly thereafter from the injury where we had to go in, and she was being my chauffer. She was about my age. And she said something real interesting to me. She said, “You know, you’ve got to get a routine and stick to it." And that was exactly right. I did not stick to the routine and the routine was get that magazine out of the weapon before you try to break it down. And it was very simple. Very simple. And people can, you know, get seriously injured or even kill themselves by maybe skipping a step, you know, when it comes to handling a firearm. In other words, make sure you are not pointing it at anybody. And know what you are doing. The cardinal rule of it is to make sure it’s empty before you start messing with it, you know, unless of course you are out there hunting or something. And that’s, it’s an important thing.
Get a routine and stick to it. Always remember that the first thing to do with a weapon if you pick it up is to make sure it’s not loaded. And every time you are done with the weapon, make sure it’s not loaded, the magazine is removed, or the round is not in the chamber, whether it’s a bolt action rifle, or something like that. And never carelessly point it at somebody. Make sure if you go out to shoot, that you are not shooting, you know, the bullet is not going somewhere where it might hurt somebody. You want to make sure you are--if you are out, say you hang a target somewhere, that you’re not going to end up shooting into a neighborhood or something. The gangsters don’t care about that. I’ve had experience with that in L.A. You know, that’s all part of it. That’s all part of it.
Andrew talks about safely storing firearms when not in use to avoid unintentional injuries.
Andrew talks about safely storing firearms when not in use to avoid unintentional injuries.
I always tell everybody, “Don’t get shot.” It was an accident. There was no way of knowing. Don’t play with guns. Don’t have them around. I don’t know, it would be like, what would I change about that day? What would I change? I don’t know what I would say to them. Because it was so unexpected. He had the gun in front of him like this. And I was coming up from behind and I didn’t even know he had a weapon in his hand. And he turned and I got shot. Know the people, know your friends. Know your friends. And if they have firearms, tell them to keep them put away. Just, unless you’re at a firing range or going hunting, don’t pull your weapon out. That’s it. That’s really it. Keep your weapon holstered and away. That’s what I’d say. Just keep it out of the picture. You guys are getting together and having some fun, having a barbecue at your house and stuff, just keep the weapons – put them away. They don’t need to be out. There is no reason for you to pull out a firearm. You don’t need to compare which lubes are better by pulling out your weapons. It’s just ridiculous. Keep them stored. Keep them stored or keep them in the holster. You want to carry your weapon, keep it holstered. Don’t be pulling it out and trying to do stupid stuff. Show and brag to your friends. It’s just not necessary. It’s not. Having a gun doesn’t make you a bigger or better person, or anything like that. And definitely, it’s none of anybody’s business whether you own them or not. So, keep them put away.
Steven talks about the importance of putting a plan in place in case you experience a mental health crisis, including a plan for your firearms.
Steven talks about the importance of putting a plan in place in case you experience a mental health crisis, including a plan for your firearms.
I’m a peer support specialist, so luckily, I come with a set of tools to help other Veterans that I can actually use to help myself. One of the things I implement is what we call a wellness, a WRAP, which is a wellness recovery action plan. Basically, it says, “Hey if I’m in crisis this is what... If I’m in crisis, this might happen. If this happens, I need some time alone.” You know? Whatever that document looks like. If you have people that you live with on a regular, like your family or your close – even if it’s not your spouse, there’s this document. “Hey friends, I have mental health... I’ve been having some mental health challenges, and this is the document that helps keep me feeling safer and braver.” Having that conversation with your family and your friends ahead of time, for your mental health alone, is really important.
Two, what’s actually the plan with the weapons? When this happens, do you feel safe having a weapon around? Personally, I would ask that person that. I would hope the person says no, they don’t feel safe having a gun. Because I personally don’t. If we’re engaging in that together, now we’ve got a plan.
“Oh, we’re in crisis just like when I had mine. Hey, where are your guns?”
“I locked them up. Here's my key.”
“Okay cool. I’m going to hang onto this just for like seven days. We’ll check in in a week too.”
You know? Just having that dialogue and that exchange is really important. So, if another person is engaging in that, you might want those extra safety locks. So, if you decide to be the person that’s going to be safety for them, is there a way for you to ensure safety and make sure that you’re the sole control of that safety while they’re in crisis? Have that plan in place. But not to the point where this Veteran is no longer in control. You know? You have to remain in dialogue with them, because if you don’t, you’re basically saying you have no respect for them and that they are not capable of making decisions for themselves. In some cases that might be true, depending on what states they’re in. If a person is having mental health challenges of some kind, they know what their challenges are, they’re taking their medication, they’re going through their practices, and they’re engaging in the process. It’d be great if you engaged in that process with them.
Mark stresses the importance of having “situational awareness” when interacting with a firearm.
Mark stresses the importance of having “situational awareness” when interacting with a firearm.
I wish it never happened. Okay? I mean, you could wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which one fills up faster, but it happened. You could dwell on it, or you could move forward with it and learn from it. The other thing is, I definitely learned from it. It’s not one of those that I’m not afraid of a gun. I’ve been in a car accident, and I still drive. I think, I guess the best advice I could ever give anybody else is keep your situational awareness around you. Okay? I dropped mine. I knew the gun was there. I had taken it upon myself to be overconfident and forget about it to the point where I knocked it off. If I’d have had the situational awareness and realized, yeah it’s there, be careful, you know it still would’ve been there probably now. That’s about the only advice I think I can give anybody. It’s, you know, don’t panic. Situational awareness is key to anything if you have a gun or not. It’s the only thing I can think of. That’s about the only thing I can give.