Joe
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Joe was first exposed to firearms at a young age and his family “always had weapons.” As a child, he witnessed violence and recalls that “it became a normal thing.” When he joined the military, the firearms training he received built on what he had learned growing up. “Being in the service pretty much just amplified what I already knew about firearms.”
After his time in the military, Joe describes experiencing a sense of vulnerability. “We get out of the service, it’s a different set of rules. And everybody can’t adapt to that…At least there I know ‘oh my enemy is here.’ Out here, you don’t know who your enemy is.” For him, owning a firearm is an important means for protection. “Wherever I go, I have my weapon with me…I know anything can happen at any given time and I just want to be prepared.”
Joe was shot and injured in two separate incidents, and these injuries continue to impact him. He shares that the “second time I got shot, I got shot five times. I got a bullet in my back, by my spine. And it bothers me pretty much every day.” For friends and family of someone who has experienced a firearm injury, Joe recommends “just being supportive…You have to take yourself out of your own shoes sometimes and put yourself in other people’s shoes and see how would you feel if this and this happened.”
Joe sustained a firearm injury as the victim of a robbery, and again, years later, in a drive-by shooting.
Joe sustained a firearm injury as the victim of a robbery, and again, years later, in a drive-by shooting.
Came home [after being deployed] and I had a lot of friends in there that didn't make it home. I came home and I got shot. That was the crazy part. The first time it was somebody trying to rob me, and I grabbed the weapon and took the weapon from him but during that process I got shot through the hand. Honestly, I was more surprised than anything. It made me upset, not emotional at all. Almost like, somebody has to pay for what happened to me. It made me think a little bit differently. Opened my mind that it can happen to you. I felt a little bit, I was just like, “man I went through the service. I came home and this happens to me? I went through all this there and I came home and this happened?”
A couple years later, this is four or five years after I got in the Corps, second time I got shot, I got shot five times. I got a bullet in my back, by my spine. And it bothers me pretty much every day. I wake up every day and my back hurts. It’s too close to my spine so they don’t want to remove it. I was helping my friend move and sitting on the porch and somebody came. The area that I’m from, that I live in, I try to move outside of it but it’s bad everywhere. Stuff happens everywhere, just higher in certain areas I believe. But the world is a crazy place. But I was helping a friend move and someone walked up and shot the house up. I got shot five times. I pushed my friend’s wife through the door with the kid. I got shot five times. So, that was kind of traumatizing for real.
After Joe was shot in the back, doctors were unable to remove the bullet because of its proximity to his spine.
After Joe was shot in the back, doctors were unable to remove the bullet because of its proximity to his spine.
I got a bullet in my back, by my spine, and it bothers me pretty much every day. I wake up every day and my back hurts. It’s too close to my spine so they don’t want to remove it. Can’t use my hand too good. I have small movement in my left hand. I have a bullet in my back. Every day I wake up, I stretch 50, 60 times a day because my back is tight because I have a bullet in my back. My leg, when it’s about to rain, I know when it’s going to rain every time. So, it’s an ongoing everyday thing. One day I might feel better than the next day and one day I might say, “I’m not going outside today. Can’t go outside today because I don’t feel up to it. My body’s not acting the way it needs to act.”
Recalling the incident when he was shot, Joe says the “stress can be overbearing at times.”
Recalling the incident when he was shot, Joe says the “stress can be overbearing at times.”
But I was helping a friend move, like children, toddlers, and someone walked up and shot the house up. I got shot five times. I pushed my friend’s wife through the door with the kid. I got shot five times. I pushed his cousin through the door he got shot two times as well.
So, that was kind of traumatizing for real. People do things, I’m not sure what for, but things happen around me for no reason. When I went to the service, I went through this, I went through that. I had friends killed, mental trauma from the service, and I come home and I'm getting shot up like this. I got people saying, “you're a hero, you saved my life,” and, “you took a bullet for me.” It’s not even like, “okay how you feeling,” or “what went on with you?” or, “you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. What were you doing to make that happen?” Like, all I did was good things, but stuff happens in life, so that’s what I pretty much came to grips with myself.
The stress can be overbearing sometimes. Sometimes I think about it like what I’ve done or what I’ve been through or how I got hurt. I think of myself, it’s not really about what I think and what I feel like. It’s pretty much about other people, like as far as helping them, but that can be a downfall too because I wind up in situations like this where I do get shot and on multiple occasions, like, am I in the wrong place? Am I around the wrong people? Am I doing that? No, that’s just life, we can’t control what our story is going to be and everybody’s story is different. Everybody handles situations differently.
Before his injury, Joe kept his firearm put away; now, he says he always has it “on my person.”
Before his injury, Joe kept his firearm put away; now, he says he always has it “on my person.”
Yes, every time I come outside, I have it on my person. Before, it was, I have it in my bag, have it in my glovebox, have it in the trunk of my car. No, I don’t move without it on me because I feel like I never know when I’m going to need it. It’s not for me to flaunt it. It’s not for me to … it’s for me, for my protection purposes only. I don’t even really want you to know that I have it with me. So, it’s like, make sure I got my concealed permit and I have it on my person. I continue my regular day like nothing’s wrong, but I make sure that it’s with me at all times.
Joe recalls that after he was shot, “I got angry, I turned to alcohol, I got divorced. It wasn’t pretty.”
Joe recalls that after he was shot, “I got angry, I turned to alcohol, I got divorced. It wasn’t pretty.”
I lost, I always tell my wife, I lost my mojo. Absolutely lost it. I don't know what's burning in me to protect people, but I avoided conflict at all costs. I lost, I mean, I'm an apex male. I mean, I'm an alpha male. I'm direct, I'm blunt, I'm in your face and I lost all that. I got angry, I turned to alcohol, I got divorced. It wasn't pretty.
Interviewer: Were you offered any emotional support during that time?
Respondent: I have a psychiatrist with the VA and we talked and he gave me some anxiety medication, stuff like that, and then the casino made me go see a psychologist at least three times, but, at that point I really didn't have the will to talk to anybody or anything like that. I don't know how to explain it. But from that day until probably 2018, I struggled. Just mad at the world.
After being the victim of a robbery and a drive-by shooting, Joe carries his firearm with him “at all times.”
After being the victim of a robbery and a drive-by shooting, Joe carries his firearm with him “at all times.”
Like I have, I want to say, it’s PTSD. I’m very aware and alert of everything that’s going on around me just because I don’t want to get caught in the same situation three times. Been in the situation twice, my reaction was grab the gun. I saved my life. The second time, it’s move out the way. Get these people out of the way. That’s my reaction. So, I know what my natural reaction is, to get away, get out of the situation by any means necessary.
Now, every time I come outside; I have [a gun] on my person. Before, it was I have it in my bag, have it in my glovebox, have it in my trunk of my car. No, I don’t move without it on me because I feel like I never know when I’m going to need it. It’s not for me to flaunt it. It’s for my protection purposes only. I don’t even really want you to know that I have it with me. So, it’s like, make sure I got my concealed permit and I have it on my person. I continue my regular day like nothing’s wrong, but I make sure that that’s with me at all times.