Religion, Faith and Spirituality
When faced with a serious or potentially life-threatening illness, people sometimes draw on religion, spirituality, or faith-based communities for support. This part of the website summarizes what people we interviewed said about the range of experiences they have had with faith and spirituality as they coped with breast cancer.
Faith and Coping
Some of the people we spoke with said that their beliefs helped them cope with their illness or find meaning in a difficult experience. Peggy is not “hugely religious” but started going to mass more often because she found it helps with her anxiety. Susan said, “God doesn't make these bad things happen. But because of my faith, I feel like he helps me respond to them when they do.” Lisa J. chants from the Lotus Sutra as part of her Buddhist practice, which focuses her on thinking “How does this like, very light, you know, beautiful flower grows in like the sludgiest mud ever?”
When Katrina feels overwhelmed, she hands herself over to God.
When Katrina feels overwhelmed, she hands herself over to God.
When you get so overwhelmed with stuff, you have to just say, "God, I surrender this to you. I can't think anymore. I can't cry no more, I don't know anything else to do, but to give it to you." And he'll hear you. He'll hear your cry. He'll hear you. All you got to do is just say, "Jesus, help me." If you're so overwhelmed, just say, "Jesus, help me." He knows what it is. He knows all what's going on. Just say, "Help me, Lord." And that's, I find myself doing that.
Amber believes that everything happens for a reason.
Amber believes that everything happens for a reason.
I can't say that I faithfully go to church every Sunday, but again, I believe. I'm a believer that everything happens for a reason. And you might not know what the reason is when you're going through it, but for some reason, there is a reason for it all. So, as far as why I got diagnosed with breast cancer, why I went through this, I couldn't tell you. I feel that it strengthened us as a family and as a whole, and that is a huge thing; is it just really made us strong as a family, and it made other people see the bigger picture also. So, it was an eye-opener. And I think that's what, why maybe I went through it.
Faith helped Denise feel at ease before surgery.
Faith helped Denise feel at ease before surgery.
My life became very much on the line with that surgery because they were saying I could be paralyzed. So, I had to come to the realization of if this isn't something I can control, I have to give it over to Him. And so, if that means I live, die, or be paralyzed, I got to be good with God's plan. Usually, you have anxiety before surgery. I was so relaxed. Letting go, I felt so good. I know if I was not to make it through, that God would have just embraced me right then and there because prior to that, I went to confession. I had those conversations with God about I'm sorry. And so I knew, spiritually, I was in a good place and that He was there. I felt free. No way, no weight, no stress, no worry, no nothing.
Faith and Medicine
A number of people we interviewed talked about ways their faith and their experiences with health care overlapped. Linda described how she trusted doctors because of “the science that’s behind” their recommendations, and also how much it meant to her when one of them “asked, could she pray with me.” Alison, in contrast, liked one of her doctors because “he prayed with us before the surgery [and]… is just a wonderful man,” but at the same time she is not “100% convinced” that he has the skills necessary to treat her cancer. Zulma said she prays for her doctors, “because if it wasn’t for them, how would we be right now?”
Katrina felt at ease with her surgeon when she saw he had prayer posted in his exam room.
Katrina felt at ease with her surgeon when she saw he had prayer posted in his exam room.
So, I went to the surgeon, and he was so nice. He had a prayer in his room, a doctor's prayer. When I saw the doctor's prayer in his room, I was, like, at ease. I was like, "Yes, Lord. I, I feel comfortable." I feel like I'm in good hands, you know? Because we know God is the doctor. He's the doctor, but when I saw the doctor's prayer and I read it, I felt so at ease. I couldn't believe how I just felt. I just laid my, not going to say my body because that might sound crazy, but I was, I laid, I let him do what he needed to do. And I still prayed to God that he was going to take care of me, you know, in the operating room. Whatever he'd find, whatever he'd do, he was going to be able to, well. God was going to help him to be the handle it.
Facing Uncertainty and Mortality
Several of the people we spoke with found that their beliefs made it easier to accept the uncertainty of their situation. As Nikki said, if “I'm healed of cancer, I trust that's God's plan. If I'm not, He, again, has a plan.”
Sharon's mantra became "faith over fear."
Sharon's mantra became "faith over fear."
I went to kind of a dark place prior to having my mastectomy. I was very fearful and very—can't think of a great word, devastated. Of course, I was devastated. But a lot of fear about feeling like a lot of fear of, of all different origins. Fear of, like, will I be a woman and, you know, just stuff.
And, I-, you know, would speak to my higher power. And I just finally came up with the mantra of "Faith over fear." And I do recognize that a person can take themselves all by themselves to a really dark place. It doesn't necessarily have to be about what's going on in your life. And I do recognize that I did that. When I came up with the faith over fear, I also believe that that was divinely inspired. And I just decided to have faith that whatever happened was meant to be and pulled myself out of that darkness. And not—and that doesn't mean that I wasn't afraid still. I was. But I wasn't, just wasn't as consumed by it, I guess.
Many people also took comfort in the feeling that God was beside them on their journey. For Debbie, even if it “sometimes…feels like He's farther away than others…He hasn't left…He's always here whether I feel Him or not.” This perspective was especially important to people, like Ronnie, who had a “solitary journey” and was “pretty alone.” For her, “God was the only force that actually helped.” Others, like Linda, noted it took a while to see that “God needed me to walk this breast cancer path.”
Bobbie believes God will take her through her struggles.
Bobbie believes God will take her through her struggles.
Because of my faith, that I know that God can do anything, and I just have to believe that, you know, he'll take me through whatever. And with my pastor, I talk with my pastor and my sisters and brothers, and so they are my support. So, that's why, I guess, I don't get, a lot of times, they say, “Are you depressed?” No, I'm not. And so, I say, “Well God got me, and I know he's got me.”
So, can you talk to me a little bit more about how your pastor has supported you?
He's prayed with me and talked with me. And so, he, you know, he said, he always encouraged me. He said, “You're going to be okay.” And I said, “I believe that I am, and I do.”
A cancer diagnosis inevitably raises the question of mortality. Several of the people we spoke with talked about how their beliefs helped them deal with their fear of death. As Janet S, put it, “I don't necessarily want to die tonight. But if I do, I'm OK with that...I have no doubt about where I'm going when I die.” Alison’s belief in reincarnation makes her “not afraid to die.”
Kim drew on Buddhist practice to overcome her fear of death.
Kim drew on Buddhist practice to overcome her fear of death.
I was howling after my diagnosis. I was afraid of dying.
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But the Buddhism helped because there's kind of this process and something called Tonglen, which is a practice, in which you if you're struggling with something, in this case, it would be fear of death. You think about all the people, maybe your community, that have that same fear. Or no, in this case, breast cancer, fear of dying from breast cancer. Just, I thought that. Then you think of everybody in your state who may have that fear, then everybody in your country, and then everybody in the world. How many people might that be? It's a lot. And then you think of everybody throughout all of history from the beginning of time, and you realize, "Oh my gosh, this happens all the time." This is not such an individual—I mean, it's a big deal, yes, but it's not unique. At any rate, I just had to work, and work at, "Hey, people die all the time of. Everyone will die, and this is not such a unique experience."
Precious wants to live but has accepted the possibility she may die.
Precious wants to live but has accepted the possibility she may die.
The bible says, well, Paul says, “For me to live is Christ. To die is gain.” Now, I'm not too happy about the dying part. But to me, to live is Christ. But if He chooses to say, “Look, you know, I can get more glory out of you dying,” then that's okay, too. But at this point, I'm hoping that He says, you know, “Go ahead, child, live and glorify me in your living.”
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I personally think I can give Him more glory that way. But, you know, if he wants to lay me down in hospice, I'll just make sure I'm cute in the bed, you know.
Several of the people we spoke with said that their breast cancer journey had strengthened their faith. Janet S. drew on her faith during a period of deep depression. She said this experience, “actually enhanced my relationship with God and my faith….I feel like it's more of a comfortable pair of shoes that I can slip into.” Denise started attending church again before her diagnosis and believed this made her “spiritually strong” when she needed to be. She said, “I can't begin to know how somebody can go through all that without having some sort of spiritual connection to a higher power.”
Faith in Science and Self
Not everyone we spoke with had religious beliefs or thought that their breast cancer experience had a higher meaning. Chelsea, “was just very trusting to my doctors and the science behind it and didn't put too much emphasis on more of the spiritual or…religious aspect of it.” Similarly, Kawanna said, “I don't believe that I came through this or didn't come through this for any particular reason.”
Michelle put her faith in herself and her doctors.
Michelle put her faith in herself and her doctors.
For me, it was more faith in-, faith in myself, faith in my doctors, and the support that I have, and faith in keeping a positive attitude because attitude is huge.
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I now have faith that I can get through some really awful things. And I have lived through possibly the worst that my life is going to give me. And so that, that kind of is my faith.
Becky went from agnostic to atheist.
Becky went from agnostic to atheist.
I think during this process I went from agnostic to atheist.
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I don't believe. And this experience just confirmed that for me, really, that I decide how each day goes. There are some things I have control over and there's some things I don't have control over. But I have control over how I handle the situation. Nobody else is going to do it for me.
Spirituality
Some of the people we spoke with described themselves as spiritual rather than conventionally religious. They drew on nature and a variety of traditions for support. Kerry was drawn to the Native American idea that “we're all spirit…We're all part of a circle of life.” Janice did things that “feed her soul” like meditating, journaling, and finding beauty in art. Kim and Casey got “spiritual satisfaction” from being in nature.
Merle draws on a variety of spiritual practices.
Merle draws on a variety of spiritual practices.
Having a spiritual core in my life has been really important as well. I would say that my spirituality is kind of layered. But my mom's grandparents were Buddhist. She is not. But I actually resonate with a lot of Buddhist philosophy, and I also have been incorporating a lot of shamanic practices into my life. So, I do have an altar just to my right, you know, that I use to connect to my ancestors on both sides.
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Yeah, like my connections to my ancestors has brought me back to, say, certain forms of herbalism or traditional medicine. And even in [LOCATION], you know, I had-, I had a lot of support from what people might call holistic or complementary medicine practitioners. I studied intensively with a shamanic healer in [LOCATION] and continued to be his student, you know. He was such a huge form of support for me, as a teacher and a mentor, but also somebody who offered me a lot of support in my cancer journey.
Carrie believes in the power of people’s souls.
Carrie believes in the power of people’s souls.
I don’t subscribe to any religion, but I do believe in the power of people's souls and then energy. When somebody dies, I think that that energy escapes into the universe. I'd like to think that somehow it can still touch the people that it loves.
Support from Faith Communities
Several of the people we spoke with had received support from their faith communities. This included spiritual, emotional, and practical support. Precious was grateful for her “church family.” She said, “They're there for me. They pray for me. I can call anybody there, and they can talk to me.” Sarah said she was no longer a Christian but still benefited from attending a church that was “God lite” because, for her, it was “more about community...and just being around people who want to make the world a better place.” Debbie says “it was just huge” when her pastor came and prayed with her before procedures.
Maria de Los Angeles received support from her church community and from her faith in God.
Maria de Los Angeles received support from her church community and from her faith in God.
The group at church where I attend supported me—were there. They came to visit me, and also my sister-in-law and a friend of mine also was available and supported me.
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Yes, I always had faith in God; in that, he would heal, that it would be better, that it would be fine. I always tried to be asking God. And I believe that yes, yes, God is good, and He helped me a lot.
El grupo de la iglesia donde yo asisto, me apoyaron, estuvieron ahí, me llegaron a visitar y también mi cuñada. Y una amiga mía también estuvoal pendientey me apoyaban.
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Sí. Siempre tuve la fe en Dios, en que iba a sanar, que iba a estar mejor, que iba a estar bien. Siempre traté de estar pidiéndole a Dios. Y creo que sí, sí, Dios es bueno y me ayudó bastante.
Steven says that the support of his church congregation “has been a blessing.”
Steven says that the support of his church congregation “has been a blessing.”
The people that we know well at church and the leadership of the church all know that I have it because we do quite a bit of volunteer work. They've been really supportive. Having their support has been a blessing. I mean the power of prayer cannot be discounted. Having people pray for you and praying yourself is a very good thing.
Being part of a faith community helped Zulma cope with her illness.
Being part of a faith community helped Zulma cope with her illness.
Before I knew that I had cancer, I had started to go—one Christmas, I went to a posada [pre-Christmas celebration]. And I met a group of people who pray the rosary, and prayers and all of that. And I started to go, I started to go, I started to go. And yes, that helped me a lot. It helped me a lot because we would meditate a lot; we would say prayers, it felt like a beautiful union. It was so beautiful, like familiar, with that prayer group. And when they told me that I had cancer, it was like I had already been prepared, I think, and I accepted. I accepted what God sent for me, and I accepted it, and I pulled through it.
Entonces, yo traía tanto rencor, tanto odio, tanto enojo, por toda la gente que me había hecho daño. Entonces, yo dije, yo no puedo seguir así. Antes de que yo supiera que tuviera cáncer, yo empecé a ir--una Navidad fui a una posada y conocí un grupo de personas, que hacían rosarios, que hacían oraciones y todo eso. Y yo empecé a ir, empecé a ir, empecé a ir. Y sí, me ayudó muchísimo eso. Me ayudó muchísimo, porque meditábamos mucho, hacíamos oraciones, se sentía una unión así tan bonita, como familiar, con ese grupo de oración de personas. Y para cuando a mi me dijeron que yo
tenía cáncer, entonces yo ya como que ya iba preparada, pienso y acepté, acepté lo que Dios mandó para mí y lo acepté y salí adelante.
Sometimes people were offered faith-based support that did not align with their own beliefs and had to find a way to make sense of it. Chelsea “heard from lots of people that...were praying for me or what not, and that was appreciated, but it wasn't necessarily something that I did on my own.”
Amy understands that people want to help.
Amy understands that people want to help.
I have never been the type of person to go up in front of a church for anything. And I didn't know that I was going to be going up in front of a church last Sunday. The priest asked if I minded if they prayed for me, and I said, “yeah, it's fine. You know, cool.”
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I just thought it would be, we're going to put your name in the prayer list. Or he did a little special prayer when we did communion. One of the last times I was there, he you know, put his hands on my head and just said a prayer really quick while we did communion. So, I thought he was just kind of asking for permission about that. No, I got up there, and he called everybody that worked in the medical field--that was a doctor or a nurse to come put their hand on me. And then he called for, you know, people that believe in God as a healer, and at the end he said, “anybody who loves Amy, come up here. And if you can't touch Amy, touch somebody who is a part of this entity.” And he said a prayer, and it was all a blur because I was acutely aware of just, I'm in this huddle of people that are putting their hands on me. It was incredible. It was not something that I knew was going to happen. And I feel like things like that are, I don't know if they're as much for me as they are for everybody else. And so, I'm fine with things like that, but not because I necessarily feel something flowing through me, as much as I'm aware that it's helpful for other people to feel like they're part of this thing together.