Jack

I have several pistols. I’ve had some – I’ve inherited one. I’ve been given a couple and I’ve purchased the rest. I have a shotgun. I have an AR15 and assorted pistols. Probably six, including the one my wife carries in her purse. And I like to target shoot with some of them.  

But, anyway, I would – we were going on vacation, my wife and I, one of her brothers and his wife. And I took my grandson with me, who was about – at that time around 16 or 17 maybe. We were going to New Orleans to catch a cruise ship. We’ve done a lot of cruises. But most of the time it’s out of Florida. This time we caught the ship out of New Orleans.  

So, what we do, I have a large van. We all take that van. And we drove about half-way, which put us in Tuscaloosa, Alabama that night. And the next morning we’d up and finish the drive on down to New Orleans, as the locals call it, I’ve learned. I say New Orleans, they say New Orleans. Anyway, that night I was tired. And we got in the motel room. And I had a Derringer in my pocket. And it’s a two shot Derringer and it uses the same round as a 357 Magnum, or a 38 Special. It’s a big round. It’s a pretty heavy-duty round as pistols go.  

And I took my – I was just undressing. I was just so tired. I took my jeans off. And I just kind of folded them around where the crease would be, forward. And I just kind of tossed it on the floor. And when I did, the Derringer doesn’t have a trigger guard, and when it hit the floor, it discharged. And I was very fortunate. It went through my thigh; high up on my thigh. It traveled about 5.5 inches through my thigh. And then exited. I was fortunate it didn’t hit my thigh bone. It didn’t hit an artery. It just passed through my thigh.  

And they called an ambulance, 911. And the police came in and like – anytime there’s a shooting I’ve learned every police – I think half the police force in Tuscaloosa must have been in my room. They hear there’s a shooting, they don’t know it was an accidental shooting, they don’t trust that I guess. They want to see for themselves. Anyway, I was surprised by the number of law enforcement people. So, they put me on a gurney, took me out to the ambulance. Took me to the hospital. 

It was a new gun. I never even fired it before. I just got it just the day before we went on vacation. So, I didn’t have any – I didn’t have any practice or anything. But I didn’t want to wear an ankle holster. So, I wanted something I could just put in my pocket. It doesn’t look good walking around with an ankle holster in shorts. You know? I don’t think that’s a good look. Plus they wouldn’t let you anyway. You couldn’t get on a cruise ship. 

Basically, when it comes to firearms, and everything, that’s my story. What I said earlier, that I was familiar with firearms, and possibly too familiar. I got complacent. Because I was used to firing weapons of – that were very, very powerful. Automatic weapons and everything. So I got to where, handling a pistol, and especially a Derringer was like – that’s like a toy almost compared to what I had so much experience with weapons, and firearms. And I just got careless and I paid for that.  

Well emotionally I guess the only emotion, the only thing I felt maybe was everybody in my family, everything, considers me somewhat of a – they know I’m a good marksman. And they consider me somewhat of an aficionado of weaponry and guns and things, and I ended up shooting myself. It’s a little bit embarrassing to be really frank about it. I was a little bit embarrassed. Of course, I was with family and all that loved me and everything. But still, I thought this really does not look good on me. I’m supposed to be this gun guy. And I ended up buying – it was a new gun. I never even fired it before. I just got it just the day before we went on vacation. So, I didn’t have any practice. 

But anyway, we – that was emotionally I guess the thing most – I felt most was a little bit of embarrassment. I did not feel any regret. Like I’m going to miss the cruise or anything. Because I knew it was a flesh wound. And I knew me, I have a high tolerance for pain. And I knew that I would not let that hinder me from getting up the next morning and continuing on with our vacation. So, I wasn’t concerned about that.

When I was a boy, a teenager. We had firearms in the house. My step-grandfather gave me a .22 rifle when I was – I don’t know, 12, 13. He was a World War I veteran. And gave my brother one also. And so, we would – and my dad, we had shotguns in the house. And dad – we could use them any time we wanted to. So, we would go hunting, my brother and I. Sometimes together, sometimes not. So, I was used to rifles. No experience with handguns, but there were no handguns in the house. 

Just back then, it was a different world in the ‘50’s and ‘60’s, the early ‘60’s. Nobody kept handguns around where we lived. We didn’t even lock our doors. You didn’t take your key out of the ignition in your car. We lived out in the country, rural South-Central Kentucky. And so, what do you need a handgun for? You don’t hunt with a handgun. But we live in a different world now.  

I know to this day I prefer, if I go in a restaurant or any other place, at a gathering, sit down, I prefer to sit with my back to the wall where I can see the door. I feel much more comfortable being able to see anything that might be coming at me. Whereas if I’m sitting with my back to the door, anything can happen before I even know it, not that anything’s going to happen. I’m not paranoid or anything like that. And I can sit in any seat, anywhere in the room and be comfortable, but I just prefer. That’s the one thing. The other thing is just to try to – even though I knew where I live. Where I came back to, in rural south-central Kentucky, nobody was going to harm me. We didn’t have a crime. We just didn’t have crime. I’m not saying nobody never got – never, ever shot anybody or stabbed anybody ever. But it was – it would be an argument. It wasn’t like an unprovoked attack or something. Two men I know got into a fight one time over one man was fooling with the other guy’s wife, and he shot him. Unless you’re asking for trouble, you wouldn’t find any trouble where I live. And I knew that. Intellectually I knew that in my mind. But in my emotional – I’m not a psychologist or anything. I don’t have the training you do. But you know you can know something in your mind to be a fact. But you can still have a different feeling about it in your emotions. Does that make sense? Even though you know intellectually, I’m here in south-central Kentucky. Nobody is going to try to rob me. Nobody is going to break into my home. Nobody is going to hurt me, unless I provoke someone. Then I am totally safe. I don’t need a weapon. But yet, it took me a while. Back then they didn’t have Concealed Carry law. So, you couldn’t just go around with a gun on you everywhere. You could go hunting and everything. But you couldn’t just go around carrying a pistol and stuff. So that was not an option.  

It took me probably a few months to get to where I never ever thought about, you know, I’m unarmed. And when you’re the age that I was, 20 and 21 years old when I was in Vietnam. That time in Vietnam being armed was 421 days. That’s a big chunk of time when you were that young. So, my mind has been conditioned to being armed. And so, I don’t know if you call it an act or will, but I finally convinced myself this is stupid. I don’t need it. Other than that, but now I will say this. If they had had the Concealed Carry Law back then, open carry like many states have or at least some states, I don’t know how many. But most all have Concealed Carry at least. If I had had that, I would have felt very comfortable. 

So, it gives me a sense of security. That I was a good shot when I was in the military. I’m still a good shot. If I ever have to, the church where I go. We have a security plan. I’m sure you’re an informed person. You know there have been a number of mass shootings at churches. I was a preacher for a number of years. And I had a guy go off. And it was a guy that, he had mental problems. He was on disability, Social Security disability for his mental problems. And one day at church, he was a great big guy, younger than me. And he just went off. And he was mad at family members in the church there and then he turned on me. And we had been good friends up until then.  

But I felt I didn’t have to fear him that much, because I had my pistol in my ankle holster. That if he had ever tried to harm – he was a great big guy, younger than me, stronger than me. If he had tried to harm me or anyone else, everything he did was just verbal. He never touched anyone. I never knew when his anger was going to change from just words to actions. But it gave me, that day, I really felt good that I can protect myself and any other man, woman or child in this building.  

And I like the idea that if I ever need to protect myself or anyone else, any human being, I don’t care who they are; I can do that. I’m not looking to be any kind of a hero or anything like that. It’s not anything like that. I just – I’m not a criminal and I don’t tolerate criminals well. Especially violent criminals that would prey on innocent, unarmed people. I do not abide that well at all. If I ever was in a position where I could prevent that, I would not hesitate.

I have a pistol that lays on my nightstand, by my bed. Where I sit right here in my recliner. I have one right here on the lower shelf of the end table. And the back door is what everybody uses. And, it’s just a few feet away. There’s another one in the kitchen, beside – between the wall and a wooden box full of kitchen knives. Where you wouldn’t see it. If you weren’t looking for it, you wouldn’t see it. And in the closet behind me I have a shotgun, an AR15. But the only thing that I could – and I’m not a paranoid person at all. But you know, it’s like at church – I retired from preaching over four years ago. But at church, when church shootings started. If anybody comes in our church and begins to shoot people, there will be pistols that will come out from several different directions. And you can’t stop him from killing the first one or two, before he can draw. But he won’t kill half a dozen. Because he would be brought down. So, our church is, like I said, we – and when it comes time for services, that we lock the door, and we have a couple men who sit near the door. So, if anybody comes in late we know who they are. If we don’t, “Who are you?” “Well, I’m so and so’s granddaughter from Chicago visiting.” But in other words, we have security. And I want to have security in my home.

So, off the cuff, I’m just thinking perhaps if in any communication or in some communication, at least once in a while, a one-time letter. And then, of course, as you get new Veterans, you’d have to mail the letter to them. Just something in the letter to say there have been Veterans who have been injured by handguns. Sometimes even their own handgun, accidentally after service. Sometimes of course, you have to go by the results of your survey. At least in my case, it’s just a matter of carelessness. Just not respecting the tool with the respect that it deserves. Just carelessness. So just—we just like to remind all Veterans, it can be worded much better than I could work it, better writer. But something to the effect of we care for Veterans. And we have Veterans who have lost their life or at least been wounded, injured. And we’d just like to encourage you, if you own firearms, to just please, don’t get careless. You’ve been around firearms maybe for many years. And you’re familiar with firearms, but just—and maybe put in there, I don’t know if this would be allowed or not, that we’ve done a survey. And something we’ve learned in the survey at least for many, whatever percent, that some say, “be careful.” If I received a letter like that, it would cause me to think. I do think it would. I just—and we’re just sending it. We’re not picking on anybody. We’re sending this out to all Veterans, combat Veterans, non-combat Veterans. Old Veterans, young Veterans, and even handsome Veterans like me.

Nothing really than just a general thing is to – my wife knew that I was embarrassed. I didn’t say anything, she just knows me. And she was very sympathetic toward that. She never – “Oh you should have been more careful. You could have been killed.” You could think of some unkind things that could be said by somebody in that instance. Even though they love you, you get mad at somebody sometimes, you love them, but still, they done a boneheaded thing. You’re not careful you’ll – not say the most kind things. You’ll say some things that you think, “well, if I tell them this, they’ll be more careful next time. I’m really going to get on em,” or whatever. 

But just be very supportive of them and show sympathy for what happened. And let them know you trust them. That you think that – of all things to worry about in the world, they probably don’t have to worry about that. Because it probably won’t ever happen again after this.