Jason

I'm 40 years old and I went into the military when I was 18. And after I got out, I was really into going to the shooting range, and really big into spending a lot of time shooting guns. And I didn't realize the impact that it was having on my hearing until it already had happened, and I was diagnosed with tinnitus, the ringing in the ears. 

And some days are better than others, and some days it's really bad and it's really hard to do pretty much anything, but other days it's better. And common sense says wear earplugs. Sometimes I did, sometimes I didn't, but I just didn't know how important it was to wear the earplugs, and the ear protection, and stuff like that. 

Part of the military culture is the macho, "I'm a man and I don't need help with anything." That's just part of it. But, and it may have just been me and my friend's personality, I just felt like I didn't need them, and didn't even think about it. It didn't even occur to me, "Maybe two years down the road you won't be able to hear." But the damage was already done. And I should have been smart, and I should have worn them from the beginning, but it was, kind of, an emotional, it was a little bit emotional to accept that. 

The hearing loss is what I noticed first. There was just me watching TV, and somebody else coming in, and saying, "Wow, that TV's really loud," and stuff like that, and having to ask people to repeat themselves. That's how I noticed it first, and I was diagnosed with hearing loss. And then I started having ringing in my ears, and really bad headaches, and like throbbing in my eardrums. But yeah, the hearing loss is what I noticed first, and that's how I realized that there was a problem.

It was, kind of, hard to accept it, that I was losing my hearing. But it wasn't hard to decide to go see the doctor or anything like that. I knew that was what I needed to do. I wear a hearing aid. And there's, I don't know, it's, kind of, like a white noise kind of thing that is supposed to help when the ringing gets really bad. But yeah, the hearing aid is about the only therapy I received for it, or treatment I've received for it. I feel like it if there had been more impact on how important ear protection was, I think it would have made a difference. But ultimately, it was my decision, and I don't have anybody to blame but myself.

I'm 40 years old and I went into the military when I was 18. And after I got out, I was really into going to the shooting range, and really big into spending a lot of time shooting guns. And I didn't realize the impact that it was having on my hearing until it already had happened, and I was diagnosed with tinnitus, the ringing in the ears. 

And some days are better than others, and some days it's really bad, and it's really hard to do pretty much anything, but other days, it's better. And common sense says wear earplugs. Sometimes I did, sometimes I didn't, but I just didn't know how important it was to wear the earplugs, and the ear protection, and stuff like that. 

Yeah, the hearing loss is what I noticed first. There was just me watching TV, and somebody else coming in, and saying, "Wow, that TV's really loud," and stuff like that, and having to ask people to repeat themselves. And that's how I noticed it first, and I was diagnosed with hearing loss. 

And then I started having ringing in my ears, and really bad headaches, and like throbbing in, like, my eardrums. But yeah, the hearing loss is what I noticed first, and that's how I realized that there was a problem.

I mean, I guess one thing I haven't shared is that it affects my family; my wife, and my kids. They're definitely affected by it. They can see that I'm in pain, and it affects them, I guess, on an emotional level. But other than that, I don't think I mentioned it at all. 

Interviewer:      Has it impacted you on an emotional level as well? 

Respondent:     I mean, yeah, and just the fact that I know that, that I made the wrong decision by doing something this way. Because of that it's caused me to have hearing loss, and tinnitus. And I know that it's not going to come back no matter how hard I try or anything like that. It's gone forever. And that, kinda, impacts me a little bit, knowing that I could have done something different.

Interviewer:      So you blame yourself?

Respondent:     Yeah sometimes I do. But ultimately, I feel like it, if there had been more impact on how important ear protection was, I think it would have made a difference. But ultimately, it was my decision, and I don't have anybody to blame but myself.

Yeah, it was a hunting trip of my grandfather. I was ten or 12 years old, or something like that, the first time. But we would go out and camp for a couple of days, and go hunting. And he would show me how to use it and clean it, and how to take care of it, and how to carry it. And what to do and what not to do. Spending time with my grandfather; it was definitely about gun safety, gun usage, and stuff like that. But it was also, kind of, him spending time with me and, kind of, teaching me how to grow up, or how to be a man kind of thing. And I really did enjoy that. But I look back on that, those memories, with good feelings.

They played a big part when I was younger in my life. I was a part-time instructor at a firing range, so it was definitely a big role, day to day, when I was working there. As I've gotten older, it's been less and less of a role in my life, or an impact on my life, I guess. 

But I have a son, and once or twice a year we'll go out and not even, really, with the sole purpose of hunting. But we'll go out and there have been a couple of times where we've hunted. But it's, kind of, just spending time with my son, and being out in the woods, and trying to teach him the same thing my grandfather taught me about how to respect firearms, and that they're not a toy, that they're a tool.

Well, I mean, it's because I experienced that myself to a degree, and that's just, kind of, the culture that you’re raised in, in the military, is that you gotta be ready to go 100% of the time. You can't let your guard down, ever. And that's just part of the way you're trained. And that is the right training for somebody that is actively at war, or in a conflict. But that may not be the 100% right training for when they get out and they're at home. Just because of the 24/7 military life that you're in, that's just the mindset. And it's hard to adapt that to living at home when you're not in a military setting.

When I was growing up, my grandfather, he was the first one who taught me how to shoot a pistol. He had a farm out in the rural part of the state, and we would go out, and it wasn't even hunting or anything like that. It was just more of, just us spending time out in the country.  He taught me how to shoot pistols, and how to clean them, and how to respect them, how to use them smartly and not play around with them. It’s not a toy, it’s a tool, kind of thing. My grandfather taught me a lot and I really respected him for that.

Yeah, before I had children, I definitely didn’t keep ‘em in a gun safe or in a gun cabinet. They were more, kind of, ready to go. I didn’t sleep with one under my pillow or anything like that. But once I had children, I realized that, yeah, it’s not just me in the house or my wife in the house anymore. And I still felt like I needed it to be in the house, but I didn’t feel like I needed it to be as accessible.  

Maybe hearing from someone who got injured because it wasn't stored away properly, or someone who, it was their doing, and they didn't store it properly and because of that, one of their family members got injured. Hearing them speak, and talk about their experience, and stuff like that, I think would help somebody learn how important that is.